Fatal (Matthew Espinosa) editing

Eighteen

"I thought you were better than that, guess not." He says shaking his head in disgust at me.

I just stare at him. "Wow Matt, you haven't changed at all." I say standing up and grabbing my phone.

"I'm sorry... I just. I don't know, I just hate the fact that it wasn't special for you," He merely whispers. I could barely hear him.

"Matt, it wasn't your decision though. Even if we happened to be friends it still would have happened, I can't go back and change what happened. Just know, I would." I say playing with the door handle, twisting it back and forth, debating to open it and make him leave or not.

I don't see why he's getting so upset over something like that. It's not like he was planning to be my first. That'd be really weird.

"I know.. I'm sorry, Bella." He sighs and I just look at the floor debating if I'm willing to let it slide or not.

I mean its something stupid, so I guess I could just forgive him for it.

But then again it is something stupid and it was stupid of him to get mad.

"I understand if you want nothing to do with me again, just.." He trails off, his voice holding multiple emotions.

"Matt, just understand I'm not a puppet, you don't control me, so don't get mad when I make my own decisions. Please," I say dropping my hand from the door knob down to my side.

"I can't make promises, because I don't want to break them. But I can try, for you." He says standing up and hugging me. I slowly wrap my arms around his waist and hug him back.

"Thank you," I mumble into his chest and I feel him nod before setting his chin on the top of my head as he holds me tighter.

I sure have missed his hugs. I'll probably never get enough of them, they're warm and firm. It's nice. Especially when you're emotional and need a hug. His are defiantly the best out of everyone I know.

"Let's watch some movies, yes?" He asks pulling back a little bit to see my face, I just smile and nod. "What movie?" He asks walking over to my movie collection.

"Dear John," I say as my eyes scan over the movies I have. He groans but a smile tugs at his lips. "Yeah don't deny the beauty of Channing Tatum. Kay." I smirk before walking over to my dresser and grabbing some yoga shorts and a white tank top.

"Imma change don't turn around," I inform him before changing quickly. "Alright you're good." I laugh before crawling onto my bed and getting under the blankets.

"Canon ball!" Matthew cheers before jumping onto the bed and me, sprawling out on top of me. He couldn't stop laughing at his accomplishment.

"Ewh Matt, you weigh a ton," I groan trying to push him off of me, but he wouldn't budge. "Matt you're suffocating me."

"I don't weigh that much." He scoffs rolling off of me. "But yeah okay, I'm staying the night, by the way. Cause why not." He says looking over at me, I just nod my head.

"It feels like old times..." I say softly, more to myself than to him. But he still heard me and grabbed my left hand.

"It's just like old times, just we're more mature and aware of everything. I don't know, maybe we should just start over... Make new memories and forget the old ones." He says and I look over at him.

"Matthew, it's not that easy." I sigh. "We can't just start over when most of our lives were spent together,"

"I never said it'd be easy. We don't have to start completely over. Just start over from the last year we've spent avoiding each other. Ya' know?" He asks and I ponder on it.