Fatal (Matthew Espinosa) editing

Eleven

As I sit down in the cafeteria in the hotel on the lobby floor, I took the time to process what just happened as my finger traced the rim of my coffee cup lid.

I walked out on Matthew crying. Just like he did after our fight. But then again, I made him leave.

But still he made me cry and didn't bother to worry. Do I feel bad for leaving Matthew there crying?

Not really. I would have a while ago but once again, I've changed and I still dislike Matthew for what he did.

Will I ever forgive him? No. Never, well never completely. I could be his friend again but I'd have to be way more cautious.

I know deep down he's still the Matthew I love and miss. But with what happened it's made me feel very weary of him.

He seems so innocent but he's deadly. He's a monster if you bring it out of him.

Do I still love him? Of course. He was my best friend for many years and we had a friendship that was so...

Unbreakable.. So I thought. But back then it was and I never once questioned the ability of it being broken in an incredible split of a second.

He's so.. Complicated yet simple to figure out all at the same time.

I figured him out and knew him like the back of my hand. Yet, he kept that one card hidden in his sleeve and used it when it needed to be delt.

In which, he used it on the wrong person. He used it on me and back then, I was all he had.

Now he's got all these friends and fans. Im left with Isabelle and a mom that never quits bashing me.

But isn't that always the case? One of the persons ends up extremely happy and the other completely miserable?

I'm not miserable. I'm just not particularly happy. I do have things to be happy about and believe me I am. I just have more bad things that make the good seem like it's not even there.

Like it never existed and that scares me and makes it harder to go on knowing that most of the things in your life can hurt you.

Can destroy you. Sighing I bring the coffee up to my lips and tilt the cup back, the cool liquid sliding down my throat before I place the cup back down.

Feeling a tap on my shoulder. I slowly turn towards the person and see Jack Gilinsky smiling at me.

But his smile dropping slightly looking me over.

"What's wrong, babe?" He asks me pulling up a chair next to me. I sigh and shake my head slightly. "Just a lot of things on my mind, I suppose. Nothing important." I respond refusing to make eye contact with him.

"Obviously it's important if it's bugging you," He says sottly and I look over at him, making eye contact.

"It's fine, Jack." I say quietly slowly standing up from my seat. "You sure?" He asks standing up too.

I toss my coffee into the trash before pushing my chair in. "Yeah, can I ask a favor though?" I ask him slowly as we walk towards the elevator.

"Yeah, anything." He smiles and I sigh pressing the up button before looking over at him fiddling with my phone in my hands.

"Can I stay in your room? I'll sleep on the floor.." I say looking down at my feet.

I hear him chuckle softly before he grabs my hand tugging me into the elevator.

"You can, I don't mind and neither will Jack. You also don't have to sleep on the floor. If anything I will." He says pressing the botton to our floor.