Fatal (Matthew Espinosa) editing

Ten

Just because I kiss a guy, doesn't mean I'm a slut. Yes, granted I met him two days ago, but its a harmless kiss.

I don't get why Matthew got so upset. It truly amazes me that he thinks he controls me.

I sit there, staring at Matthew as he paces in front of me. Taylor back in his hotel room. Considering he's half drunk and incoherent.

"Why the fuck would you let him kiss you?" Matthew finally speaks and I stare at him, flatly.

Emotionlessly. "I kissed him." I lie. He kissed me, but I didn't stop him so its my fault too.

"You wouldn't do that!! I know you!" He yells and I just close my eyes, tightly. I feel like I'm fighting with the devil when it comes too fighting with him.

"Last time I checked, you knew me. You and I haven't talked in a year, so therefore I don't know you and you don't know me. Any more." I say quietly, yet I said it with so much emotion. Making the words stronger just a lower tone. Hitting him and I like bricks.

So many emotions hiding within me. Dying too come out to play with my mind and heart.

But I shut them out, completely. I don't need to fall back into my old self.

I don't need to be in that dark place ever again. Never ever again.

Matthew stays silent, pondering my words. Not bothering to look at me. His back about a foot away from my knees.

He stands there, so emotionless like a wall. "I haven't changed. Neither have you." He responds finally turning towards me again.

His eyes burning into mine like a fire. His eyes lit up with anger and sadness.

He's thinking about the fight. He has to be. Its pissing him off and making him upset.

This is a dangerous emotion he has. He doesn't realize what he's saying let alone doing when he's so upset that he's mad.

He blacks out.

"Look at me," I whisper standing up and stepping towards him. His eyes following me, his head tilted down to look at me.

"I'm not the same," I say gesturing to my whole body and then my fingers tapping on his chest.

"You and I both have changed. You have millions of girls, wanting you. You think you haven't but, you have. I have too, I'm not so gullible anymore. I'm stronger now. Nothing can possibly break me down." I say, my confidence taking over.

"You haven't changed. Yes, your looks have changed but you're still Arabella. The innocent girl I love too death. My best friend." He tells me, just barely audible.

My eyes closing slowly as he stares at me. So much emotion in his eyes.

So many more emotions then just hurt and anger flowing through them. The blaze within them, slowly dying out.

The word best friend, bringing back so many memories that are worthless now. To both of us. Those memories aren't important anymore.

The only memory I want to remember is the day before I met him. The day I was so happy about moving to Virginia.

The day were I didn't need to rely on anybody besides my mom.

The day I was strong and I didn't need any friends to be happy.

That's the day, I will never forget.

"People change over time, Matthew." I say with drawing from him and sitting back down in my previous spot.

"Deep inside they are always the same person they've always been. I haven't changed, not at all. You haven't either." He tells me and I couldn't help but shake my head. Staring down at the floor.

"I'm not the same and neither are you. You aren't the person I used too be so fond of. That fight, showed your true colors." I say as the memories flood back.

The memory of the day before the fight when we were laying in my back yard, talking about life and staring at the clouds until the stars came out.

The day we were so close. He will never be the same Matthew I loved so much.

He will never be the Matthew that was my best friend. He'll always be that snake. Coiled up under a rock. Seeming harmless until it strikes.

He's like a lion, they are none too be aggressive but on TV, they are so nice too their care takers until one day, they snap and attack them.

Matthew is dangerous, be cautious. My subconscious tells me as he approaches me. Crouching down in front of me.

"I made a mistake." He says grabbing my hands as I finally look into his eyes. So much guilt and sorrow hiding behind those brown eyes.

"A mistake that could have killed me Matthew." I whisper and he closes his eyes as they get watery.

He knows exactly what I mean. "I wasn't thinking.. I'm truly so sorry." He says as a few tears slip from his eyes, falling down his cheeks.

My instinct was to reach up and wipe them away but I with held and looked away as the pain of making him cry starts to seep into play.

Guilt from this making me feel so much sorrow.

"Think twice before you ever say anything like that again, or do what you did." I finally say. Feeling his squeeze my hands, my focus on him once again and I see his guilty eyes and tears, continuing to seep from his eyes like a waterfall.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Bella. Never. It just happened and I hate myself for doing that, truly I wish I could change the past." He says shakily, his voice cracking from crying.

"I wouldn't change the past." I respond quickly and he gives me a questioning look. "I found the real you." I say honestly and he looks down.

"That's not who I am. I let my self control slip and I regret it so much." He explains but I don't let his words in.

I can't. I can't forgive him, I can't just forget about what he did too me. It's like a recurring nightmare that haunts me all the time.

I'll never forget.

"Whether you let your self control slip or not. What you did was not acceptable." I say looking him directly in the eyes.

"I know it wasn't. I have no excuse for what I did. I will always regret it because what I did and what I said was the worst possible thing I could ever do to anybody. I will go on regretting it until I die. I will always be sorry." He says, heaving a sigh after speaking.

"Sorry will never fix the past." And with that I pull my hands from his and stand up.

Leaving the room. Leaving Matthew crouched there in front of the bed, crying.

Whether it hurt me too it, or not. I needed to.

(A/N- Hey Lovelies.

I love you so much.

Okay. Okay.

You're all amazing okay.

20 Votes For The Next Chapter.(:

Stay Positive - Matthew Espinosa

Stay Beautiful - Sam Pottorff

xxx Chyanneee)