A Fill-In Friend || Dear Evan Hansen [EDITING]

.: Twelve :.

Evan's POV

I wake up with a jolt, seeing nothing but darkness. I see the small digital clock from the living room TV box and question my surroundings. I swing my legs over the edge of the thing I'm sleeping on, hitting something- or someone. 

"Shit. I-is that you, Connor?" I squint my eyes, trying to see through the darkness. My eyes finally adjust to the darkness, and I see a mop of messy brown hair covering Connor's emotionless face. He's lying on his stomach, his arms and legs sprawled out carelessly. I smile a small smile at the sight of the peaceful boy. I look back at the digital clock, taking the time- 4:22 AM. With this, I lie back down, taking in the silence of the night. I noticed the slight whirring of the refrigerator, the air blowing through the air vents, and small snores coming from the direction of the floor. 

Connor's told me that he doesn't sleep, like, ever. It's nice to see him sleep. He needs it. 
You're caring about someone who doesn't give a shit about you.
No, he told me he wants to be friends. 
He's playing you.

"He's not playing me!" I yell out by accident. 

"What the fuck...?" Connor's voice asks. I see him sit up, brushing hair out of his face. 

"I-I'm sorry... Just-uh-go back to sleep, Connor. Shit, shit, shit. I'm so s-sorry." I mumble apologies.

"It's fine, Evan. Chill out."

"What's all this yelling about...?" My mom comes downstairs, "Evan, are you okay...?" 

"Y-yeah... I'm fine, mom," I say, hoping she'll go back to bed. 

"You sure, sweetie?" She asks. 

"I'm sure." 

"Okay, try to get some sleep. You have school in a few hours." She goes back upstairs, leaving Connor and me alone. 

"Shit, Evan, what's on your mind?" Connor asks. 

"Just-just a-annoying thoughts, you know...?" I push it off. 

"I don't think annoying is the word, Evan. You can tell me what's up." 

"My thoughts and I aren't agreeing. I-I want to be friends with-with you, Connor. But my thoughts-they're telling me th-that you're-you're playing me, and I-I don't want to believe that." I spill out quite easily, adding, "J-just forget I said any of that, p-please." 

"The question is, do you believe it? Do you believe that I'm playing you?" Connor looks at me, his eyebrows raised as if anticipating an answer. 

"I-I told you t-to drop it, Connor," I say, shutting my eyes. 

"You see, that's the problem, Evan. You're always running from everything. You have to stop running. Because one day, you're going to break down." 

"Yeah, wh-what do you know?" 

"More than you think." Connor lies back down, "Sleep on it, Evan." 

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"Good morning, Evan, Connor!" My mom cheerfully exclaims. 

"Good morning, Mrs. Hansen," Connor replies. 

"Morning," I say, sighing.

"Would you boys like some eggs? I got up early just to make them!" She smiles. 

"I'm not hungry," I grumble. 

"I would love some." Connor grins. 

"Did you just smile?" I ask, containing a giggle.