A Fill-In Friend || Dear Evan Hansen [EDITING]

.: Seventeen :.

A/N- I'm gonna start dedicating chapters to people <3

Connor's POV

I walk into the school's office, eager to see Evan. The office clerk waves me back to the nurse's office, where I see Evan is still snoozing. I grab his shoulder and shake him gently. 

"Hey, Ev? It's time to go home." I almost whisper, smiling at the nickname. His eyes flutter open, widening when he sees me. A huge smile appears on his face and his arms wrap around me.

"Connor," He says, "I missed you." I wrap my arms around him as well, and we stand there for a minute, just hugging. 

"Alrighty, Ev. Let's get home." I pull away from the hug. Evan grabs my hand, nearly pulling me out of the nurse's office and the school. 

"Can I hold your hand?" He looks at me longingly. 

"Well, you already are," I chuckle, "But, yes, you can." His face lights up, his cheeks turning a light pink. 

How the hell is he that adorable?

He looks down at our interlaced fingers, smiling. He can't see it, but I'm smiling too. 

"Ev?" I ask, sighing. 

"Yes, Connor?" 

"I also didn't want to leave you alone at school," I start, "Because of the rumors." He looks at me, his grip on my hand tightening. 

"You mean they weren't just to-today?" Evan asks. I shake my head. 

"I thought I could distract you until everything subsided." I sigh. 

"No, no... Uh, thank you. For-for trying, at least. You've heard what they did to me." Evan's grip gets tighter, but I don't mind the extra pressure. 

"They're probably going to keep going. You've got to ignore them." I watch as Evan's head goes down. 

"Look at me, Evan," I say, grabbing his chin and moving his head to look at me. The rest of his body turns with him. I stare into his blue eyes for a moment. Snapping back to reality, I realize my surroundings and let go of Evan's chin, allowing him to bring it back to normal height. 

"Sorry-uh-what I was trying to say was-was uh-as long as you focus on-er-me and-and Jared-and Alana, you'll be fine!" I exclaim a bit loudly. Evan nods, smiling gently and looking at my tightly squeezed hand. I feel the pressure release, looking away from Evan and straight forward, realizing we were close to the Hansen's house. We walk a bit in a comfortable silence until Evan breaks it. 

"Jared, he isn't the best in these-these situations. I'm sure he wants to help me, he just tries to lighten the mood with jokes. Alana, I don't know her so well, but she's good friends with Jared. She's quiet around me. I never know what she's thinking because she doesn't speak her mind much. Except for that one time when I told her I broke my arm." He admits. 

"They're your friends, even if they aren't the best at showing it," I tell him. He nods as if acknowledging this already. I flash a small grin at him. I get one in return, along with a, "You smiled!" I chuckle, leading Evan up the driveway. It is then he notices we're at his house. I pull the key out of my pocket. Evan lets go of my hand. It feels odd, and the warmth from his hand quickly depletes. 

"We should continue our Criminal Minds marathon," Evan says, turning around and looking at me. 

"What if we listen to music for a bit and then watch Criminal Minds?" I compromise. 

"Okay." Evan agrees. We walk upstairs and into Evan's room. I get on Spotify, clicking a playlist Evan and I made called "Evan and Connor" (very original) and press play. Immediately, Absolutely Smitten starts playing. Evan and I smile at each other as the ukulele starts playing. We both know what's coming. The song had kind of become "our song" since we discovered we both liked dodie. 

"She knows this feeling all too well
She feels her heart begin to swell
Handsome stranger, you have made her insides
turn to jelly."

We sing the rest of the song together, smiling and laughing like crazy. I feel a bit of a tug in my heart as we "perform" the song. Evan's face is red and I'm sure mine is too, from all the laughing we've done. Afterward, I hold out my hand to shake his. 

"Nice performing the best duet ever with you." I smile as I say this, Evan taking my hand and shaking it. 

"That song isn't even a duet, and we somehow made it one." Evan chuckles. 

"Well, it worked." I laugh along, out of breath. 

"I don't think I could sing another song if I'm going to keep getting out of breath like this." I joke. 

"Aw, poor Connor." Evan sits next to me, placing his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. 

"Thanks." I breathe. Evan looks down at my hand. 

"You bite your nails." He states, looking back up at me. 

"Nervous tick." I shrug. 

"Biting your nails isn't good for you." 

"I do a lot of things that aren't good for me." 

"Like what?" Evan asks. 

"I smoke, for crying out loud. The rest I'd rather not state." I half-avoid the question, resisting the urge to bite my nails. I look away at my feet, squeezing my hands into fists. My short fingernails dig into my skin. Evan probably saw this, as he grabs one of my hands and interlaces it with his own. The question he asked is getting into my head, repeating itself. Evan's hand is comforting me, but not enough. I feel as if the world is closing in on me, the two worded question taunting me. 

"Connor, Connor. Shh, look at me." I do as I'm told, realizing tears have made their way to my cheeks. I pull myself toward Evan, wrapping my arms around the smaller boy. 

"Breathe... you know what to do." Evan's voice coos. I use the sleeves of my hoodie to wipe away the few tears on my face. I then take a deep breath, exhaling and taking another. I repeat this cycle a couple of times before I'm calm. 

Woo! Cute chapter! it's coming guys, brace yourself. love shall conquer ehehehehhe