A Fill-In Friend || Dear Evan Hansen [EDITING]

.: Twenty-One :.

Dedicated to- JeremyTheTwunk because of your hilarious comments! Thank you for brightening my day <33

Evan's POV

The next few moments happen quickly. My mom barges in with a smile on her face, looking ecstatic.

"You didn't tell me you liked guys!" She squeals. I stifle a smile, blushing instantaneously. She then comes and hugs me tightly. Connor smiles, watching the two of us bond.

I pull away from the hug, asking, "You know what bisexual means, right?"

"Yeah! I read an article all about sexuality and gender stuff." She giggled. I smile sadly out of relief.

"I'm guessing you heard Connor ask me to--" I start.

"Yes! You guys are so cute together!" My mom is genuinely excited. And you can tell. 

"But like 5 minutes ago you made me tell you I was alright and that Connor could come up." I raise my eyebrows playfully. 

"Only cause I anticipated this." She played along. I laugh and Connor joins in. He places his hand on top of mine and a warm feeling spreads throughout my body. I send a small smile at him and he smiles back. 

"I'd better get home or my parents will worry." Connor sighs.

"Okay. Do you want me to walk you home?" I ask. He nods, but then my mom interjects. 

"Nonsense! I'll drive you two over there and meet your parents!" She beams. Connor shrugs in agreement. I grab Connor's hand slowly as we walk out of my room.

-----

We get to Connor's house and my mom meets his parents. They seem to talk for forever, so Connor and I go upstairs and knock on Zoe's door. Zoe opens it immediately after, startling the both of us, and lets us in.

"Sooo, how'd it go, Connor?" She asks playfully.

"Well, I got a boyfriend, so it worked." Connor blatantly replies. 

"What do you have to say?" Zoe asks in the same mocking tone as an adult asking a kid a question. 

"Thanks for the advice." Connor sighs, rolling his eyes. I giggle, causing Connor to smile. 

"Hey, Evan, let's show this loser our handshake." She smirks. I nod, starting the handshake with a fist pump. The handshake evolves into a pattern of intricate snaps and claps and ends soon after. 

"Is this gonna be like one of those 'I'm dating my boyfriend and his sister and I are best friends' things?" Connor asks, his eyes squinting slightly. 

"Since when is that a 'thing'?" Zoe asks. 

"Since now." 

"Connorrrrr..." I hold out the end of his name out to imitate pouting. 

"Whattttt?" Connor holds out the word as well. 

"Lighten up, look, Zoe helped youuu.... She obviously wants to come to terms with youuu." 

"When did I–" Zoe starts.

"She does!" I laugh. Connor smiles a small smile. Zoe looks at Connor. They both nod. 

"Fine. I guess if you and Evan are going to be best friends, I should treat you decently," Connor says. 

"I've always wanted to have a gay best friend." Zoe realizes.

"Hey! I'm bi!" I laugh.

"True, true." She nods. We all laugh briefly. I feel Connor's eyes on me smiling without looking back at him.

The rest of the time we're at the Murphy's, Connor, Zoe and I all talk and laugh. But we're also interrupted by yelling. It's Connor's dad, Larry. He storms upstairs and slams the door.

We all fall silent. It's as if everyone was asleep. Not one sound was heard for almost a minute after.

"Dad's a bit of a homophobe. To him, 'it's all a phase.'" Zoe speaks quietly. I turn my head toward Connor.

"It's all my fault, isn't it?" My voice sounds almost different for a second as I speak.

"No, Evan. It's not. It will never be your fault." Connor pulls me close, resting his head on mine. I wrap my arm around him and bury my face in his chest.

'It will never be your fault.'

-----

"Honey, I am so sorry. I would have never gone there if I had known about him. It's okay to like whoever you like. Don't listen to narrow-minded people like him. They aren't right." My mom looks over a few times from the road as she speaks.

I feel like shit.
I wish Connor were here.

"Honey, you there?" She asks.

I don't want to be.

"Yeah, sorry." I sigh.

"Please, promise me you'll stay strong and ignore Larry."

"I promise."

I'm not sure if it's a promise I can keep, but I'll try, Mom.

I text Connor when I get home, but he doesn't answer. This leads me to text Zoe.

Evan: hey

Zoe: yo, what's up?

Evan: Connor isnt answering his phone
Evan: he okay?

Zoe: you're worried.
Zoe: but yeah, he is, just grounded.

Evan: i miss him already :(

Zoe: i know

Evan: imma try to get sleep ;P

Zoe: night
[read at 11:34 PM]

I don't try. I just lay there and look at the dark room around me, trying to imagine Connor were here with me. If Connor were here, he'd suggest sneaking out to 7/11 so he and I could share a slushy. I'd say no and he'd somehow convince me to. We'd grab the rest of the money off the counter and be the quietest we could, which would fail because we'd be laughing too hard.

And by then, I'm grinning like a fool. And then I'm not.

Because Connor isn't here.

I close my eyes and try letting sleep take me over. It doesn't work. 

yO
I'm alive?? That's a surprise?? 
I'm really sorry about the long ass wait times from chapter to chapter, but high school is like homework central. I see new people commenting all the time, and I can't read every comment anymore like I used to. Seriously, how much this book has grown is overwhelming. I'll try and reply to your comments as much as possible, but it's a bit hard! And thank you so much for 150 followers! I've only just realized. I love you guys. Thank you.

I'll see you beans another time!

~Alexa <3