A Fill-In Friend || Dear Evan Hansen [EDITING]

.: Fifteen :.

Evan's POV

*It was Wednesday but it's Friday now because I say so*

"I was proving a fucking point. I may hate the fucking place, but they suspended me for no reason." My eyes adjust to the sunlight in the room, my ears picking up Connor's one-way conversation. I push myself up with my good arm, yawning silently. I look over at Connor, who is holding his phone to his ear, his face scrunched up. I've learned this to be his anger face. It's hard not to smile with his face like that, because although it's supposed to make him look angry, it makes him look like a child in the slightest way. 

"You know, by suspending me, they're not even punishing me." Connor glances over at me, telling me he acknowledges me silently. I shift positions, swinging my legs over the bed and standing up slowly. I shuffle tiredly to my drawers, grabbing any shirt and pants I can. I sneak into the bathroom, locking the door and swiftly getting dressed. I then walk out, remembering I had to brush my hair and teeth, and walking back in. I brush through my hair. I then grab my toothbrush, squeezing a random amount of toothpaste onto it, and bringing it to my mouth to brush my teeth. When I'm through with that, I walk out once again, glancing at Connor and grinning softly to myself. His hair is still messy from sleep. 

"Remember to brush your hair, Connor." I jokingly remind him. 

"Yeah, yeah, Evan- Zoe, shut up. I don't want to hear your supposed sob story." Connor presses the screen, putting his phone down and looking at me with droopy eyes. 

"So, I have to stay home because I went to school on the day I was supposed to be suspended." Connor sighs. 

"Wait, you were suspended? Was it for the whole... you know... punching incident?" I ask with wide eyes. 

"Yeah. It was, Evan. What else have I done that deserved a suspension?" Connor asks sarcastically. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I raise my voice slightly. 

"Because I didn't plan on not going, Evan." 

"B-but why?" I ask again. 

"Because I was actually starting to enjoy school. Because now you're there for me. I have a friend," Connor says rapidly. 

"I-you-you enjoy school... Because of me...?" I ask out of disbelief. 

"Yeah. I said it, there." Connor throws his hands up, walking past me and down the hallway to the stairs. 

"Hey, wait, Connor!" I plead for him to turn around and walk back up the stairs. To envelope me in a hug. I speed walk down the stairs, my eyes begging to see him again. To my relief, he's in the kitchen, eating quickly. I sit down beside him, eating my breakfast slower. 

"Evan, come on. We have, like, 15 minutes to get you to school." 

"But you're not allowed at school." I look at him with confusion. 

"I'm walking you to school." Connor states. 

"O-oh. Okay." I place my dishes in the sink, grabbing my backpack and heading out the door with Connor. 

-----------------

"I'll probably pick you up too." Connor shrugs. 

"Okay, I'll see you later, no matter what." I half-smile. I wave at him, saying goodbye silently. He waves back, a grin creeping up on his face before it's shoved off. I turn around, walking into the school gates. My smile wipes off my face as I approach my locker, putting things in and hearing my name among the student's failed whispers. 

"Aren't he and Connor Murphy friends...? Where's Connor?" One student whispers.
"What if he, like, died?" Another says. 
"Sounds likely."

I shut my locker with force, the two students staying quiet. I walk toward the normal meeting place, where Jared and Alana wait. 

"Hansen! Everyone's talking about you and your gay lover!" Jared shouts. 

"W-we aren't lovers, I told you..." My face heats up with extreme embarrassment as other students begin whispering, probably about the theory that we're dating. 

"Hey, it's not my fault he lives with you now-" 

"Because h-his parents kicked him out!" I interrupt loudly. I regret this immediately. 

"And he's all you talk about-"

"Because he's my only friend!" I whisper shout. 

"Yeah, yeah, more like boyfriend." Jared jokes. 

"Jared may not be correct about you dating, but he is all you talk about. In any conversation we have." Alana injects herself into the conversation. 

"C-come on, Alana..." I groan with embarrassment and the slight wish Alana will side with me. 

"Well, facts are facts." Alana shrugs. 

"Haha, yes!" Jared holds a hand up, smiling hugely. Alana high-fives him, a slight grin on her face. 

"Can w-we just, I don't kn-know, stop talking about this...?" I whine quietly. 

"Sure, my gay friend." Jared smiles mischievously. 

"Y-you shouldn't assume s-sexuality or g-gender for that matter..." I state shyly, feeling peoples eyes on me. Jared looks unimpressed. The sound of the bell rings throughout the crowded halls of the school, signifying school starting. Jared puts a toothy grin on as if pretending the last couple of minutes didn't just happen. I begin humming a random tune, widening my eyes when realizing it was perfect for one of my songs. I practically drop the notebook with my songs by grabbing it so quickly. Both walking to class and writing, I hum each note, trying to match the tune with the note names. The voices speaking of me get sounded out as I hum each note. I get to my classroom right before the bell rings, sneaking a seat before the teacher sees me. The class begins, but I sound the teacher and snickering students out by focusing on another letter.

Dear Evan Hansen:

I'm not sure about today, because of people. They're talking about me. I'm not sure if it's good or bad yet. And they're talking about Connor. But, the thing is, we're both people the world has decided to leave alone. No one ever talks about us, no one ever sees us, no one ever notices us.

So why now? Why all of a sudden? How come we're noticed now?

It makes no sense. I've never thought anyone would even think of me, and now people, they're talking about us. Me and Connor. Connor and I. 

Sincerely, your only other friend,
Me.

"Evan, class is over." 

Woah this chapter actually wasn't a complete flop? It's not like the others were, though, according to you kind souls. But, it's 4 AM and I said I go to sleep at 4 but I was almost done with the chapter, so... You guys'll get this chapter in the morning (or afternoon... okay, probably afternoon.) as opposed to 4 in the morning. I dedicate my lost sleep time to everyone who reads, votes, and comments. You guys are the reason for my 3-4 AM inspiration. I feel like I don't appreciate you guys enough, though, at the same time, I feel like I thank you guys too much. 

Nonetheless, I'll see you beans another time.
~Alexa <3

[Edit right before I post this]: THREE THOUSAND READS? THE FUCK? THANK YOU GUYS INFINITELY. LITERALLY LIKE A COUPLE DAYS AGO IT WAS AT TWO THOUSAND? I LOVE YOU ALL MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE, SERIOUSLY. 

EVERYONE GETS AS MANY RAINBOWS AS THEY WANT.
🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
THEY'RE INFINITE!