Existential Indifference (Joshler)

7. Paranoia

Wait to start the song.
***I'm honestly not sure what triggers to post here, but I guess trigger warning for mentions of vomit and a bad reaction to drugs.***

Josh spent the majority of his weekend hazily sliding in and out of consciousness. At the moment, Ashley was passed out on the sofa, drooling onto one of Debby's throw pillows. There would still be a needle sticking out of her arm if Debby hadn't carefully removed it for her.

Heaviness filled Josh's limbs as he laid on the couch. He was completely out of it, which made it even more comforting to him when Debby babied him. She'd spread a blanket over him at some point since he'd last passed out, and the shirt he'd thrown up on was gone from his now bare chest. He didn't usually throw up when he was high, but he did get seizures sometimes, which led to vomit. Today's seizure hadn't been big enough to warrant getting medical attention, so Debby had just soothed him back to sleep and made sure he was comfortable.

At the moment, Debby had Ashley's feet in her lap as she read a book that Josh was too strung out to read the cover of. A cigarette sat between her pretty pink lips as she turned the page. Slowly, her eyes drifted over to Josh. She smiled when she saw he was awake.

"Hey, baby boy. How are you feeling?" She asked softly.

Josh smiled lazily, unable to do much else. He hummed out some sort of a response. His chest felt warm when Debby stubbed out her cigarette in the ash tray on the windowsill before climbing off of Ashley's couch and coming over to his.

She climbed under the blanket with him, wrapping her arms around him although he couldn't move his. She kissed his lips softly, and he fleetingly wondered if she'd been able to get him to brush his teeth after he threw up. He couldn't remember.

"I'm so lucky to have a baby like you," she told him in a whisper, and he smiled. "You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. I love you so much."

Sleepily, Josh lifted one of his heavy arms and slung it around her waist before closing his eyes. As always, he was well aware that Debby could do much better than him, but he'd never tell her. Instead, he buried his face against her chest and relaxed.

The heaviness of the dope swimming through his veins mixed with the scent and touch of Debby made Josh feel more comfortable than ever. It was only made more satisfying by the fact that Debby had had to remove her clothes after Josh's seizure too. He'd thrown up on her shirt, so now she wasn't wearing one. The softness of her chest was made only that much more intoxicating by the drugs in his system.

"Are you getting sleepy again?" She asked him as she soothed her fingers through his hair.

He nodded, nuzzling closer to her and trying to open his eyes again. The drugs were pulling him too hard towards sleep though. For just a second, he panicked. He wasn't ready to go back to sleep. He wanted to be with Debby.

"Shhh, it's okay," Debby soothed when he whimpered and tried to sit up. She laid him back down, wrapping him up in her arms before guiding him to hide against her chest once again. "You're safe. I'm not going anywhere, baby boy. I'll be right here holding you when you wake up."

Josh nodded dazedly, allowing his body to sink back into the couch. Ashley had to have given him more than usual or heroin laced with something else because he'd been rolling for hours without any sort of decline. Whatever the case was, Josh really didn't like it.

The only thing grounding Josh right now was Debby. He clung to her as sleep began to overwhelm him, breathing in her green apple shampoo and the cigarette smoke still stuck in her pores.