Existential Indifference (Joshler)

43. Lucky

***Trigger warnings for mentions of addiction, an eating disorder, and food.***

Start the song. It's Moondust (stripped) by Jaymes Young.

It was becoming pretty clear to Josh that Tyler really wasn't aware of how unhealthy his relationship with food was at the moment. He didn't eat lunch when Josh did, no matter how hard Josh tried to convince him to at least eat some soup or something, and he looked extremely overwhelmed whenever food was presented to him. The most Josh managed to feed him at lunch was a couple bites of chicken noodle soup, but he still praised the hell out of Tyler for eating those couple bites.

"Want to come with me when I go pick Jordan and Abbie up from school?" Josh asked as he put Tyler's unfinished soup into a plastic container and tucked it into the fridge in the hopes that Tyler might eat a couple more bites later.

"Sure," Tyler agreed from where he was sitting on the couch, doing homework from the pile of books sitting beside him.

His backpack was in the wash with Josh's hoodie and Tyler's overalls, all of which having received their fair share of blood spattering the day before. His hair was messy, and he was just wearing one of Josh's shirts and a borrowed pair of boxers. Josh's clothes looked bigger on him than they used to, and Josh was a little bit worried that Tyler didn't see how loose everything he wore seemed to be on his shrinking frame. Hickeys were peeking out from the neckline of Tyler's shirt, and he had a couple on his thighs as well. He seemed calmer now that Josh wasn't trying to feed him. Josh didn't like that.

"What class is that for?" Josh asked curiously, shifting Tyler forward to sit behind him and massage his back as he glanced at the complicated formulas scribbled across Tyler's notebook.

The muscles in Tyler's back relaxed under Josh's touch as he continued to scribble out numbers, letters, and symbols that meant absolutely nothing to Josh. "Calculus," Tyler replied distractedly.

"Shit," Josh replied, making Tyler chuckle.

"Yeah, you're telling me," Tyler agreed. He pointed to the full sheet of scribbles in front of himself and looked over at Josh to tell him, "This is only the first problem."

"Shit," Josh repeated, smiling when Tyler laughed. "Need me to disappear for a minute while you work on that?"

Tyler kissed Josh's cheek before looking back to his homework. "No, but you can keep rubbing my back if you want."

"You bet your boots I want to keep rubbing your back," Josh replied without hesitation, making Tyler laugh again. "Let me know if you need me to fuck off for a bit though. I'll miss you, but I'll do it."

"Will do," Tyler confirmed amusedly.

Josh pressed a light kiss to Tyler's shoulder as he watched Tyler continue to solve the never-ending equation in front of him. Tyler giggled when Josh swore as he watched the younger man turn the page in his notebook and continue to work on the same equation. Josh kissed Tyler's shoulder again, massaging Tyler's lower back with gentle fingers as he did so.

"The answer is four," Tyler decided finally, beaming when Josh swore again.

"All that, and the answer is four?" Josh asked in mock frustration. "Damn, baby boy. You're smart."

Tyler grinned. "It's not that hard," he insisted quietly.

"Shit. I must be a fucking idiot then," Josh decided amusedly, earning an eye roll from Tyler.

"You aren't," Tyler insisted.

"Not an idiot. Just a deadbeat," Josh decided, laughing when Tyler pouted at him. "Speaking of deadbeats, I gotta take a smoke break. Keep up the good work, Steve Jobs."