Existential Indifference (Joshler)

37. Dweeb

***Trigger warning for mentions and descriptions of past drug abuse (marijuana, cocaine, and heroin), sexual behaviour (no smut), mentions of past overdose, and mentions of cravings.***

Start the song. It's We Only Attack Ourselves by Funeral Suits.

The girls were loading their stuff up into their cars today. Josh couldn't believe how quickly they'd found somewhere else to live. Debby had told him she'd called in a few favours because she felt like it was an emergency that they got out of there before they could trigger him again.

Josh had helped with the packing, not saying much throughout the process. He felt abandoned, but he knew that was unfounded. The girls were leaving for his sake, not because they didn't want him anymore.

He'd laughed when Ashley found a wig in their closet that she'd worn when the girls had first gotten together. It was long and dark brown. Back then, it had covered short coils of nearly black hair. She'd shaved her head after she'd ditched the wig, and she hadn't needed anyone to tell her that she still looked gorgeous without her long hair. She just knew.

Still, she wore the wig around while she loaded up her car because she knew it made Josh smile. Debby kept telling Josh they had a present for him that they were going to give him before they left. They giggled excitedly whenever they talked about it, yet he couldn't bring himself to be excited for something that he wouldn't even get to see until his girlfriends were leaving him here by himself. He felt better in the knowledge that Jordan was going to come stay with him later, but the idea of being without the two women still made him feel uneasy.

As soon as Debby's car was loaded, she became pretty much useless to Ashley. Instead of using her free time to help their girlfriend pack up the other car, she'd pushed Josh onto one of the couches and connected their lips. He didn't complain, letting Debby press him into the cushions as her soft tongue brushed against his, and her hands fisted in the front of his shirt. She kissed him so deeply that, for a moment, he forgot everything except the taste of her mouth. They were both panting when she broke the kiss to study his eyes, smiling after a moment and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

"You look more and more like the boy I fell in love with every single day," she told him warmly, making him smile shyly. "I remember when my dad first let you move in with him, and I started coming home from college every single weekend just so I could hang out with you."

Josh's smile widened. "And during the week, you texted me pretty much all day. I still have no idea how the fuck you got your degree. There's no way in hell you paid attention in any of your classes, plus you were tweaked out for your entire senior year."

His girlfriend laughed. "Yeah, well, somehow we survived all of that." She kissed his lips a couple times before giggling. "You were such a dweeb back then. All you ever did was play football, smoke weed, and watch porn in my old bedroom."

Josh laughed. "I was seventeen!" He defended himself.

Debby giggled, running her fingers through his freshly dyed purple hair as she pressed a kiss to his nose. "Still dweeby behaviour," she commented.

"Oh come on. I distinctly remember you coming home for a weekend, and we spent the whole time watching porn and making fun of it while we both smoked weed. You were just as much of a dweeb as I was," Josh pointed out, making Debby laugh again, this time looking a bit more embarrassed. "Not to mention, I spent the entirety of the next weekend doing a bunch of the shit from those videos with you, which was my intention all along, so who's the real dweeb?"

Ashley was carrying a box through the kitchen then, so she chimed in, "Debby was the dweeb because she was a sexy nineteen year old college girl who was sleeping with a high school boy who probably had Cheeto dust on his fingers and could only keep it up for like three minutes at a time."