Existential Indifference (Joshler)

8. Reason

Wait to start the song.

Josh came back to consciousness in stages. His mind woke up before his body, and his eyes couldn't open until his body woke up. He wiped at his eyes before starting to sit up. He stopped when he saw the little girl sitting at the end of the bed. Where was he?

"Hi," Abbie said quietly, eyeing him warily. Home. He was home.

Josh hadn't seen his little sister since she was eleven. She used to like him, but Josh had ruined that the last time he was addicted to something. Cocaine had ruined his life for a lot of reasons, and that had included his family. He'd been so focused on getting high that he hadn't felt guilty taking money from them, and that included extorting his little sister for whatever she would give him. She'd wanted to help at first, thinking he was asking because he loved her, but it didn't stay that way. He'd lost her trust.

"Hey," he replied tiredly, wiping sleep from his eyes as he sat up.

"You've been asleep for three days," Abbie told him, but she looked nervous to be around him.

"Fuck," he muttered. He swung his legs out from under the sheets, placing his feet firmly on the floor. "Three days?"

"Yeah," Abbie replied quietly. She watched him push his hair back and stretch before she leant over to Jordan's chest of drawers and pulled out a shirt. She held it out to him. "Jordan said to give you a shirt when you woke up."

"Why?" Josh asked groggily.

His sister shrugged. "You weren't wearing one when you got here."

Josh looked down at his torso, which was bare. "Oh. Where is Jordan?" Josh asked her, trying to ignore how wide her eyes got when he took the shirt from her and she saw the state of his arm.

She shrugged. "He's been getting Daddy out of the house everyday in case you woke up. None of us really wanted you guys to be here at the same time."

Josh nodded his understanding. The last time he and his father had been in the same room, fists had been thrown. Considering he had apparently shown up here shirtless and then passed out for three days, his father wouldn't be too happy to see him. He pulled the shirt on before standing up.

"Tell him I said thanks," Josh told his sister as he headed for the door.

Her eyes widened. "You're leaving?"

"I'm not supposed to be here, remember?" Josh told her, hearing her scamper along behind him as he left their bedroom.

His mother was sitting in the living room, sewing the button onto a shirt. He didn't talk to her as he looked around before finding his keys sitting on the counter. She looked up when he picked them up.

"Hi, honey. How are you feeling?" She asked him worriedly.

"Fine," Josh mumbled as he headed for the door, still trying to figure out how and why he was here.

"Hey, wait a second!" His mother exclaimed, hurrying up and across the room. She grabbed his hand and pulled him back into the living room. He didn't look at her. That would make leaving here again that much worse. "Sit down for a second, okay? Can I at least feed you before you go?"

"I have to go, Mama," he told her quietly.

"Please? I've got something I need to talk to you about," she told him earnestly.