The DarkNess Within Him | ✔

Chapter Thirteen

My nights are usually spent in night terrors. Despite the time that has past, my experience with Jayce still lingers on in my subconscious and the minute I shut my eyes for the night, it lethally attacks me.

Everyone in my house that hears my screams at night have all gotten used to my night terrors so not having one last night feels remarkable for me. Except, at the same time, it doesn't because what replaced my night terror was a memory from the past. My most distinct memory of Matthew.

Matthew's father was the Alpha of the Keystone Pack, a small pack like mine which boarders mine in the north. Seeing as we were both small packs, Matthew's father, Alpha Martin used to make trips here to talk to my father about Alpha business. Growing up, he would bring his son Maxwell along with him since he was his first son, the son meant to become Alpha.

Logan always had very little interest in visitors right from an early age so whenever they would come over, he would find the nearest woods to run away to while I would look on intrigued. Things changed when I turned eleven. It was no longer Maxwell accompanying his father, it was Matthew and that's exactly how we met.

Matthew always had this observant approach to life and he was always quiet. I used to watch him. At my young age of eleven, I found him to be the most interesting male I had ever come across. I started writing poems about him and doting on the next time he would come to visit, hoping for the next time I would get a chance to see him. Even if it was just a glimpse.

The thing was though, I never approached him. I admired him from afar, too shy to even say hello to him and the few times we were forced to speak, he seemed very uninterested by me. No surprises considering he was three years older than me and probably found me childish.

In school, I never understood those girls that would say they got butterflies in their belly around the boys they liked. I never really understood how to have girly feelings, to feel girly things. But when I met Matt, I felt all those things the girls in class who sat behind me used to go on and on about. I felt the butterflies. I felt the need to be noticed by him, the need to be complimented by him. I was a young girl but I felt it. I felt it so very deeply.

It went on like that for three years. Me watching him from the sidelines, him looking at me like a kid and never giving me the adequate attention I so deeply craved for. I liked him but he didn't even look at so in turn, this shattered my heart every single time. But the thing was, even if it did shatter my heart to see that he saw me as a child, I didn't mind having my heart shattered over and over and over again as long as I got to see him. As long as I got to hear him say my name just once even if that once was in irritation or even annoyance.

I was a young and foolish girl dealing with feelings for a boy three years older than her that saw me as just that; too young. At some point, I got used to the fact that he would never see the love in my eyes for him. He would never notice me. I liked him but that's all it would ever be. Nothing but a puppy dog love.

That's why what happened next shocked me to bits.

It was during the spring, a few months after I had turned fourteen. Puberty had finally hit me and even I knew I didn't look the same anymore. My hips had become broader, my waist slimmer and my breasts were more prominent than usual. My body was feminising itself in preparation for my wolf when I turn fifteen.

Out of the blue, all the pack boys that knew me as the girl that played sports and whatnot, started looking at me differently. I would play games with them and they would be blatantly staring at my ass. I tried to ignore them but after several boys started asking me out, Logan made it his mission to make things clear that I was off limits. He beat up the boy that brought me flowers and forced me to quit playing sports or else it was with him, Mason or Carter.