[No Ship] ~ 6/10

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I've recently become obsessed with Dodie's songs, so this is gonna be a thing, because how could it not? This is a beautiful song about social anxiety, and Virgil literally is anxiety... But this one shot is human AU. Just a warning, this won't be the last time I use a Dodie song for a one shot. I seriously think I'm addicted to her EP "You".

~~~

Virgil looked around the party and smiled awkwardly, not to anyone in particular. Just in a sad attempt to seem like he wasn't dying inside.

Conversations were like white noise in the background. Deafening white noise.

Virgil was uncomfortable. He never really did good in social situations, and this was no different.

His hands were sweaty. He played with the zipper of his hoodie, a nervous habit that he just couldn't shake.

I feel like a 6/10

All these people here... They seemed to fit in. They were laughing, enjoying themselves with their friends.

If only Virgil could be like that.

I've gotta get up early tomorrow again

Virgil looked around the area and sighed. He walked over to the corner. That's where he belonged. He was an outsider.

What goes on behind the words?

Is there pity for the plain girl?

Watching the crowd from afar. Is that what Virgil was destined for?

The crowd... They were a them. Virgil was a he. He didn't fit in. He wasn't like them.

"Virgil!"

It was Roman.

A friend of Virgil's, and professional extrovert.

"C'mon, join the party." Roman said.

Virgil shook his head. "No, thanks."

The conversation went on, but all Virgil could focus on was the sinking feeling of dread that came with social anxiety.

Can you see the panic inside?

I'm making you uneasy, aren't I?

When Roman talked, he did so with confidence. Virgil didn't understand how he could be so... him. Roman may have a bit of an ego, but his confidence was admirable. How did he do it?

What goes on behind the words?

Is there pity for the plain girl?

I'll close my mouth.

I won't say a word.

A nod of pity for the plain girl.

The conversation went on.

Virgil wanted to stop.

He's going to make a fool out of himself, just like he always does, and the others will try their best to hide the fact that they think he's annoying and a pain to deal with.

Just like always.

It was the same, saddening routine.

I know

that you

Don't want

Me here

I know

That you

Don't want

Me here

Virgil's emotions flared up as his thoughts and anxiety took over. His breathing intensified.

I know

That you

Don't want

Me here

I know

That you

Don't want

Me here

Virgil couldn't think. He couldn't focus on anything but his panic. It was unbearable, it was taking control.

I'll just call a taxi

Gotta get up early tomorrow again

I'll just call a taxi

Gotta get up early tomorrow again

"I should go." He told Roman. "I have an early day tomorrow."

He bolted out before Roman could say anything.

What goes on behind the words?

Is there pity for the plain girl?

I'll close my mouth.

I won't say a word.

A nod of pity for the plain girl.

The taxi brought Virgil to the safety of his home. He plopped onto his bed and, with a shaky exhale, allowed the tears to form.

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