A Collection Of Various One Shots Depicting Thomas Sanders's Characters

[Logicality] ~ Left Brain, Right Brain

For the longest time, the song "Left Brain Right Brain" was something that I had heard of but never seen, but today I saw it for the first time, and OH MY GOD IT IS ADORABLE AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I WENT SO LONG WITHOUT SEEING IT. I knew that I just had to write a Logicality one shot on it because it's just so much like Logicality, so... Here it is. (Also thanks to GuardedMind for helping me change some of the lyrics to fit Logicality more.)

~~~

"Has the medicine been working for you?"

Thomas shook his head at the robotic voice. "No, no it hasn't. I'm still feeling constantly torn, nothing is working. I'm... I'm an indecisive mess."

"Your emotions and your logic are at war." The robotic voice said.

"My emotions and my logic?" Thomas blinked.

"To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other."

"Separate them? How?" Thomas asked.

"Splitting your neurological functions in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... This may hurt a bit... 0."

Thomas felt a sharp headache and pressed his palm to his forehead. He gasped and shut his eyes closed, but then... It was over.

Isolation complete.

There were two figures.

The first, on the left, was wearing a necktie and glasses.

This is Thomas's logic, or Logan. Objective. Logical. Cold. Analytical. Aware of patterns. Aware of trends. He's efficient... and a prick.

Logan glared at the machine.

The other figure was wearing a blue shirt with a grey cardigan strapped around his shoulders. His glasses matched Logan's, and he was grinning.

This is Thomas's emotions, or Patton. Subjective. Creative. Sensory. Aware of feelings. Aware of people. He's emotional... and an idiot.

"That's your opinion... Just careful with opinions." Patton told the machine.

Okay, boys... Play nice.

Logan spoke up first. "I am the left brain, I am the left brain. I work really hard until my inevitable death brain. You got a job to do, you gotta do it right, and the right way is with the left brain's might."

Patton's turn was next. "I like Oreos... and guys. Yeah, in that order! And I cry for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3. I am the right brain, I am feelings, I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful, trustful, and looking for somebody to love."

Logan pointed. "Here comes a male, here comes a male. Puff your chest up, take your phone, and check your email. Our evolutionary purpose is to repopulate, so gather data now and see if he's a possible mate."

Thomas did so, trying to act cool in front of the guy.

"Holy frick, I think he might be the one." Patton looked at the guy with heart eyes. "There's something about him... I just can't describe it."

"Abs." Logan provided.

"I am the Earth, he is the glorious sun. I want him to trust me." Patton said.

Thomas grinned goofily at the guy. "Hey. I'm, uh, Thomas."

Logan shook his head. Patton was going too far. Thomas was going to make a fool out of himself. He turned to Patton.

"Alright, Patton, you're being insane." Logan said.

"No, Logan, I'm just being alive. You should try it... You might like it." Patton returned.

Logan got defensive. "I worked hard to give him everything he cared about! You were worried about the things that he was scared about. I'm calm and collected while you act wild. I am the adult, you are the child."

"You think you're the right one every time! You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all." Patton returned. "Half of his problems were supposed to be mine! But you wanted everything. I hope that you're happy... Cause he's sure not."

"Well, according to my calculations—I'm sorry, let me run the numbers again—uhm, you're a pussy." Logan said.

"Oh, name calling? You're really just gonna do name calling?" Patton raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not calling names, okay, I'm just stating facts. Facts state that you're a quivering pussy." Logan countered.

"I'm the pussy? At least I don't play with toys still!" Patton said.

"Rubix cubes are not toys, okay, they keep my spacial reasoning skills sharp." Logan said defensively.

"Logan plays with toys! Look at you! Mister... You're a toy-player." Patton teased.

Logan didn't know what happened at that moment. He had just had enough of Patton's teasing. Patton was wrong, he himself was right, and he wanted to make that clear. So he snapped.

"Well, at least I did my fucking job, okay? I kept him working. I kept him productive. You were supposed to look after him. You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable through all this. Now you're tying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling? If he's feeling unhappy, it's because of you, you failed him! You did this to him, he hates you, I know he does! He fucking hates you!"

Logan knew right then that he had crossed the line. He had gone so far that he was probably in Fiji by now. And the guilt started to sink in.

It only got worse when he heard Patton's sobs.

"Patton, Patton, look, I'm sorry!" Logan kneeled next to the emotional trait and tried to apologize.

"No, you're not." Patton said, tears still streaming down his face.

Logan bit his lip and met Patton's eyes. "Look, maybe there's something we could do.... together."

"Together?" Patton repeated.

"Take the best parts of both of us, and put em together." Logan placed his hand on Patton's shoulder.

"I'm listening." Patton sniffed.

"It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze. You could man the themes, I could man the form. It's something George Carlin did, something Steve Martin did, it's something special we could both perform. Do you know what it is?" Logan smirked at Patton.

"Juggling! We could juggle and juggle our cares away!" Patton suggested.

Logan facepalmed and sighed. "Comedy. It was comedy. We could do... comedy together."

Initiating reassembly.

Logan rushed, knowing they didn't have long left. "Alright, Patton, comedy, we're gonna do comedy together, alright?"

Patton nodded. "Alright, Logan, we'll do comedy."

"It'll make them happy, I promise, alright?" Logan said.

"Logan..." Patton wanted to say one thing before they ran out of time, to make sure he knew. "Logan, I love you."

Logan smirked. "...I know."

Experimentation complete.