Melrose • Dolan Twins

課 044

The day after that incident, I cried for hours.

And when there were no more tears left to cry, I'd take a puff of my cigarette while I stared at the wide white wall before me.

I didn't eat, and I didn't drink.

It was just me, my thoughts and my cigarettes.

I missed him like crazy. But I couldn't focus on that now. I couldn't think of him.

I had to stay strong.

Soon, I'd be getting my sister back.

I cried myself to sleep last night, feeling cold and empty.

My pillow had his scent, and I guess that helped me sleep a little faster than I had anticipated.

Went to school feeling absolutely nothing, but misery. I would stare at the blackboard, but everything the teacher said went from one ear to another.

It didn't matter how hard people tried to cheer me up. It was useless.

Back in my room afterschool, I dropped my bag and chugged a whole can of beer, while I blankly stood in front of the television.

I wasn't watching. I was simply just, staring. My stomach growled, but I ignored it, chugging another can of beer instead.

Then the doorbell rang. Three consecutive times.

I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply, forcing myself to walk towards the front door.

I opened it, and saw Ethan. His eyes were red and puffy.

But it was not because he had been drinking, but because he had been crying.

"Here" he said, handing me a fat envelope full of cash.

I took it. My face emotionless. I mumbled a "thanks" and went back inside, leaving the door open for him to enter if he wanted to do so.

I sat down on the couch, and locked my ankles while lighting up a cigarette.

"How you holding up?" Ethan mumbled, sitting on the sofa across me.

"Is that even a question" I mumbled back, eyes not leaving the screen.

"Sorry."

"Ethan why are you here anyways" I asked him, taking a puff from my cigarette.

"I wanted to help you"

"There's nothing you can do to help me. The damage's been done. The money's complete. All I can do is wait"

"I want to go with you" He said sternly.

I arched and eyebrow and swang my feet, landing them on the cold hard ground as I leaned my elbows on my knees, my cigarette stuck in between my teeth.

"Go where?" I mumbled, moving the cigarette's direction with my tongue. Pointing it at Ethan.

"I want to go with you to get your sister back"

My eyebrows furrowed. "How do you know about my sister?" I felt my blood boiling.

She was a weak spot. She had always been.

"I overheard you and Grayson when you were talking"

I shook my head and let the smoke leave my mouth.

"Not happening." I clicked my tongue and laid back down on the couch.

"I'm going with you, whether you like it or not" He rose from his seat.

"This is not your decision to make! And you don't know what you're getting yourself into!" I mocked him and stood up, pushing him, causing him only to step back.

"Yes I fucking do" He raised his voice.

I stood closer and looked at him deeply in the eyes.

"No. You don't." I spat and sighed, scratching the top of my head in annoyance.

They were both as stubborn as I was.

"Tell me Ethan, are you really willing to trust me? After all I've done? You've seen what I've done to Grayson." I explained angrily.

His face softened.

"Are you not afraid of what could happen? I'm a criminal, Ethan, and so are the people I'll be facing tomorrow. You could get shot, get in an accident, or even worse, you could get killed. "
I poked his chest with my index finger hard as I explained the risks.

"Don't you see what I'm talking about?" I asked him. My face full of concern.

He kept quiet, and lowered his gaze, scratching the back of his head.

"I can't bare the thought of losing you Ethan. If something happens to you it would all be on me. My fault. My responsibility."

"Raine fucking stop blaming yourself for every bad thing that happens!" He yelled.

"Is it not my fucking fault?! Beca-"

"No!" He raised his voice at me louder. A single tear rolled down my cheeks as he leaned in to kiss me.

I kissed back slowly and he cupped my face, deepening the kiss.

"It's mine." He mumbled "And whatever happens tomorrow, I'd like to be there by your side."

My lips quivered as I pulled him in for a hug.

He hugged back, as I buried my face in his chest, crying.

It's funny how much his hugs reminded me of Grayson's.

And now, my feelings were more confused than ever.