"Hey guys, how are you? " I say to the crowd. They all shout different things. "Okay, so we have a few questions for you Normani, if that's okay." Jason, my sound guy says. I nod my head and give him a thumbs up.
"Hi, Normani." This beautiful girl says. "Hi, pretty mama what's your name?" "Marbella. " She says with an accent. "Marbella." I repeat and she chuckles nervously. "My question is, what can we expect from your first opening concert?" "Good question, you can expect alot of crowd interactions and alot of dancing. It's gonna get really steamy. " I do a little body dance and they all holler at me.
"Next question, this one is from Destin." "Hi Destin." I wave at him. "Hi- my question is what do you do in your spare time." "I like to eat. ALOT. I don't really have down time but when I do I love to enjoy my family. " He smiles gratefully and then Jason moves on to the next. I do about five more question and get ready to take pics.
In the past three months, my album had reached the top of the charts and I already had a single to go platinum. I was so excited, and very grateful. I love my fans, and anyone who has ever done anything for me. I try not to think about Dinah because all it does break my heart. I can't stop thinking that it was my fault. SZA and Lauren keep telling me that it wasn't my fault. I cried for a week straight. She tried to call me and text me but I never answered.
I guess this took a toll on Dinah too, because she apparently pushed her album back. It was set to come out on the twenty-six of August. She even ended up leaving Sony Label and start her own.
It was a huge law suit and alot of words exchanged, but she did it and now she along with Lauren, and Ally have their own label together. Lauren was telling me about how since I had a one year contract with Sony, I could just go over to that label. They already had Camila, Khalid, June's Diary, Blackbear, Julia Michaels, DNCE and even SZA signed with them. How they did it, I don't know but I was honestly proud of them all. Including Dinah. ---- After we took pics, I went and got ready for my Concert. As soon as my album came out they wanted me to go on tour. The title of my album was The Most Dangerous Drug. It was basically about Dinah and I.
I had already heartbreak songs from the first time she fucked up. The second time was when I decided to make into kind of a story. But in the story at the end I find Love. Also the album, it was kind of me admitting I cheated on Cordell the song was I'm in love with another man. I still kinda feel guilty, but he cheated too.
I can't wait for the deluxe addition. It has three extra songs on there that describes my three moods. Needy, heartbroken, and sexy.
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--- "Thank you guys so much I love you. Have a good night." I wave to the crowd and as the beat ends I do one last post. I head out to my trailer to change and shower before we head to the next city.
After I shower, I see a couple of fans and I talk for a minute. Then I head to my bus. I release a grateful sigh and plop down on my bed.
Just as I was about to close my eyes, my phone ring. I huff and pick it up. "Hello? "Hey baby how you doing. " A smile slowly makes it way to my face. "Hey Ma. I'm good I miss you." "Aww, well I miss you too. How's the tour going." "Ita stressful, but fun and exciting. I get to see all my fans. " "Well that's good baby. Just remember to pace yourself and relax every now and then." I nod my head even though she can't see me. "DJ, quit running so fast before you fall and break something. " I freeze up, once I hear that name. "D-Disin there? You still watch him." "Yeah and Jasmine. " "Why mom?" "Honey what you and Dinah got going doesn't have nothing to do with me okay. These kids mother's are both unavailable right now, especially Jasmine. And Dinah's been a mess. She won't talk to anybody you know she was a social butterfly. She asked me to watch the kids longer because, she can't handle it." "Doesn't she come visit." "I mean yeah she comes to visit, but its only for a while like two hours, then she's off again. It should be the other way around. I should visit them and Dinah should keep them." "Mommy if it's getting too-" "No, no its not. I'm just saying she needs you Mani." "Mommy," "Look, I'm not asking you to get back with her. Just call her or something."
I sigh heavily. "I can't mom I'm sory, I call you later. I love you. " "I love you too baby." She hangs up the phone and I close my eyes. Tears start to stream down my face and I couldn't stop them.
What the hell am I gonna do.
-- August 2016 7:00 VMA's
I was nominated for two VMA's. The first one was, Best New Artist and the second one was Best Collaboration. Was it bad that I didn't want to win Best Collaboration. If I won, then that means Dinah would come up there with me and I would actually have to interact with her. Her album had came out Friday and she was set to peform two songs from the album. I don't even know the name of the album, but I'm sure it was good because when I went on Twitter that was a topic that was trending: Dinah Jane's album.
Me and my mom haven't spoken about Dinah anymore, but I did visit the kids when I was on break last week. They looked so precious and happy. Disin cried when he saw me and it made think of Dinah because she would tell him to "Man up."
I had just finished getting my dress on and now we were ready to head out. I took some pictures first with my photographer Blair.

He was so sweet, nice, and easy on the eyes. He asked me out once and we went out, but nothing really happened. We're still friends tho. "Normani, come on let's go." I finished the pics and fix my dress before I get up to leave.
"Nervous?" My body guard asked me as I was getting out the car, to head to the red carpet. "Hell yeah, but I'll get over it." We share a laugh and he guides me up to take pictures. "Normani right here!" "Okay wonderful sweetie now to the middle." I do as they all ask for about a good three minutes. Then I was ready to go in.

"Normani you know you got to do interviews right? " I groan loudly and then turn around. I do three of my own interviews and then I decided to crash Lauren and Camila interview, they were probably talking about the label that they just all started up with.
"Hey guys. " I wave and give them a hug. "Hey Mani, long time no see. How you been?" Lauren asked me. "I've been good. You?" "Never better." I smile at her. "Hey Mila. How's the album coming. " I ask her. "Normani!! Nobody knew that and now you just spoiled it." She does a cute pout and I make an "o" face. "I'm so sorry Mila." I laugh at her and she just pushed me. We answer a few question from the interview and then we all head in.
I was sitting by yara shidi. We've known each other for a while, we hang out every now and then. She's cool people and she's funny as hell on black•ish. We chatted a few minutes into the show. Ariana Grande and Rihanna did their thing. They presented the first award. I was up for that award. It was Best Collaboration. I didn't see Dinah anywhere. That was good right? "And the winner for Best collaboration is....." Yara saw I was up for this award so she was holding my hand.
"Normani and Dinah Jane Nobody Else But You!!" I let out a yell and then hugged Yara. I start to walk down not before Lauren hugged me and out the corner of my eye, I say Mila hugging someone blond. I made it to the middle and they still were playing our song. It didn't hit me that I won until I saw Dinah walking from the other side to meet me. She held her hand out so I wouldn't fall and helped me up the stairs. We get up there and they hand me the award, which I remind you was heavy as hell.

"Holy Crap, I won. I'm sorry," I look at Dinah who's smiling at something Jaden Smith said. I touch her arm lightly. "We won. I couldn't thank you enough for me being on this record. This is my first award and I just want to say thank you. " I lean up from the mic and hug her. She slowly recuperates. "I just want to say thank you to Normani for letting be on this song and to my mom," She smiles at me. "I told you so." I make a mental confused face,but shrugg it off. We follow them to the back. When we get back there, I hug Dinah again. "Dinah thank you so much. You don't know how much this means." She just rubs her neck. "U-uuh yeah, no problem. I'll see ya around." "Wait, how you doing?" She holds her heads down. "I'm straight, what about you?" I knew she was lying. "I'm fine, how's Ja--," "Look Normani, I got to peform in a few I go on right before Beyonce." She smiles at me and walks off. Great now I feel bad.
I decided to stay back here because they told me I had to present but they didn't tell me or what. Apparently, they thought I should present Dinah Jane. Luckily I wasn't alone. Luke James came up with me and boy was he eye candy. "This next performer has won countless awards and has just won not to long ago with this chick right here." He looks at me and starts to clap, making the others clap as well. "Thank you Luke, your so sweet. She also does alot of work behind the scenes, with her album just dropping not even three days out, it is now climbing the charts at an impeccable pace. Ladies and gently give it up for," We both say her name at the same time. "DINAH JANE!" The crowd cheers as we look to the stage to see her on a piano. I head back to my seat, eager see what she's about to peform
Little did I know that this performance would change my whole life.
