The End (GxG) (Sequel to The Middle)

Chapter 18

-JAMIE'S P.O.V-

    As I read her secrets, I cry. She cries. She won't look at me. Her face hidden.
    I finish and all I can do is wrap my arms tightly around her.
"J.."
   She removes her hands from her face. She burried her face in my shoulder and holds onto me tightly.
"I'm so sorry."
   Her apology catches me off guard.
"Why are you sorry?"
"I don't want you to be mad at me. I'm so sorry, Jamie."
"Why would I be mad?"
"Because I wrote that stuff. Because I didn't tell you. Because it's about you. Because it's a secret. Because it's my fault. Becau"
"Lynn, breathe. Breathe, baby."
   She starts to hyperventilating.
"Ly, I'm serious, breathe."
    She starts to choke. I pull away from her instantly and run for her purse. I run back with her inhaler.
"Breathe." I put it to her lips and she does.
   She looks up to me, her eyes clear..pure sadness set in.
"Slow down, okay? Tell me why you think I'm mad."
"B..Because it's private. I..I thought you'd be mad I'd put that publicly." She pauses. "Or that you'd be mad because I never told you it was up there. Or that you'd hate me because of all the things I said. Or admitted. Or how I begged for death. Or how I "
"Lynn, calm down. Slow down, baby."
"I..I'm sorry. I was going to tell you. I just didn't know how. I mean it's not like I could say 'hey, Koala. I wrote some books online. Along with poems to you. Oh and almost everything about our relationship. And how I fucked up so many times. And how I hate myself. And the details of how your' " she chokes on her words.. " 'lifeless lips.. forever scar mine. Or how your cancer was ripping my heart out because there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do for you.' Yep, that's exactly how it would come up."
"You did pretty good just now, Ly. Although, I've known for months."
"I'm so sorry."
"Have I ever pried something out of you that you weren't ready to tell?"
"No, J."
"Have you done with me?"
"Never."
"I should be sorry. For telling you that I knew. But I'm not sorry and neither should you." I cup her cheeks.
"You have no reason to be sorry, Ly. I would never be mad at you over that. And probably ever. So please, don't cry. Please don't think I'm mad. It's perfect. And I'm proud that I can have such an impact on you because you're just more to me than you can ever know."
   Relief slowly fills her eyes. Slow shades of her grey return.
"Look at where we are, baby. On our honeymoon. In love. And it's forever and always, Ly. I'm married to an angel. To my queen. I'm not mad. Not upset. Not sad. Just happy. Happy because I have you."
   She smiles lightly. Her eyes back to normal, though I can still see the sadness. Love shines through.
"And I'm sorry about your thighs. It's not like mine don't hurt either."
   She laughs and the heavens sing.
"Do you feel better?"
"You always know how to fix me. I was just so scared you would be mad."
"I'm not, babe. I'm actually happy I finally told you I knew about it. I've been dying to say something. Reading your feelings and thoughts about our wedding and honeymoon..." I smile widely. "You make me so happy, Ly."
   I wrap my arms around her neck and she brings me in a tight hug.
"I love you so much, J."
    She laughs and pulls back.
"Okay. So. Another secret. I want a dog."
    I laugh and kiss her cheek. "As long as I pick the breed. I love dogs."
"Okay. So. I also have a lot more nudes of you. Not just on my phone."
    I hold back a laugh. Of course.
"I tell Abby a lot more of our sex life than I should."
"You too?"
    She laughs and nods.
"Oh. And once I hid that I was sick so you would still kiss me."
"I knew you were sick, Ly."
"Oh."
"Mhm."
     I have.. a question I'm scared to ask.
"Just ask."
"You pick the wrong times so read my mind."
"Ask."
"Do you... still.. feel.. it?"
"Yeah."
    I feel.. tears stream down my cheeks.
"Koala, don't cry."
"I'm sorry."
"It's only a reminder, Koala. A reminder of what happened and what I will never let happen again."
   She wipes my tears.
"No, it's a rare thought, Jamie. And it lasts a split second."
"But it's still there."
    I just want her to be happy.. yet she still..
"I am happy, J. Be happy with me."
    She kisses my cheek, other, forehead, tip of nose, chin then lips. She pulls back before I can kiss back.
"Beeee haaaapppyyyy with meeee." She whines.
   I rest my head on her shoulder and sigh to cover a yawn. "I am, baby."
"Koala is also a tired bear and needs rest."
"You just called me a bear."
"Of course I did. You're a Koala bear. Duh."
"Did you just Duh me?"
"Duh."
"Really?"
"Mhm."
     I close my eyes. I really am tired. With the hangover this morning. Scare of seizures. Crying to her. Coddling And then crying more. I'm wiped.
   And I feel myself slipping.
"Come on, Koala. Hold onto me okay?"
"Mhm."
   She gets up. I cling to her as tight as I can but I'm so tired. She travels around the other side of the bed and sits down.
   She lays down with me and I get comfortable.
"I don't know why I'm so tired."
"It's okay. A nap sounds fucking fantastic."
   I laugh lightly. I kiss her neck softly. I hold on for just a little while longer.
"What are we doing tomorrow?"
"Probably be rabbits. Maybe visit the tower again. We have to hop on a plane at 4 the next morning."
"So early." I yawn just thinking about it.
"Yeah but we might make it for the famous fog."
"That would be awesome."
"Mhm."
"Ly.."
"I know. Sleep, love."
"Mm."
"Koala." She whispers.
"I love you, Ly." I barely get out.
"I love you more."
    I squeeze her hand to protest, it's all I can do.. I can't move anything else..and I'm just.. too tired to.. say..
  
"No."
"Ly. Your wife is hungry. Feed her or pay."
"No."
    I bite down on her shoulder, drawing blood.
"Ow. Jesus Jamie."
   I suck on the blood. It's not much but it got her attention.
"We can't go anywhere with you being on me like a vampire."
   I pull back and look at her.
"Vampire?"
"Yeah."
   Her thump brushes my chin and shows her blood. I lick her thumb.
"Please don't do that. You're hungry and turning me on isn't the way to get out of this bed."
"So that's a turn on?"
    Her face shows new shades of red.
"No."
"Liar."
"Maybe."
    I smirk before licking her finger. She growls.
"Fuck me." ..I'm instantly turned on.
"Thought you were hungry?"
"Ly. Are you really going to question when your wife literally begs you to fuck her?"
"N..No."
"So. Fuck me."
    A dark shade of lust quickly shadows her eyes. She flips us and pins me down. Something in her eyes light up.
"I want to do something. And if you don't like it, I will stop but I want to have a little fun with you, my little tease."
"Okay."
    She gets up and runs around the room. She pulls the straps from our robes out. I.. have an idea..
"Hand?" I give her my hand and she ties part of the robes rope to my wrist.
"Too tight?"
"No, Sir."
    She smirks. She ties the other end to the bed post. She climbs over me, kissing me as she passes.
"Hand?" I give. She does same as other.
"Too tight?"
"No, Sir."
   She ties the other end to the other bed post.
   She climbs over me and grins.
"I want a pic of this."
"Oh Jesus no."
"Please?"
"No."
"But you look so sexy."
"No."
"I'll leave you like this and walk away."
"That's not even right."
"Come on. Just one."
    I cave. "One. And you owe me."
   She gets up and grabs her phone. She balances herself as she stands in the bed. She positions her phone for the pic and takes it.
"J, I want a different nickname while in the bedroom. Cause you're Sire. I can't be Sir. Too close."
   She jumps off the bed and shows me the picture.
"You enjoy your handiwork?"
"Yes. Yes I do."
    She puts her phone down and straddles me. "Bedroom nickname. Give. Now."
"I don't know..."
"Come on."
    I seriously have no idea. And a small light pops up.
"Uh.. Heartfire."
"Why?"
"Does it have to have a reason?"
"Yes."
"Love and passion I guess."
"Sire goes for my King, Jamie. And how I will submit to you at times."
    I hold back a laugh... fail.
"Laugh as you will."
"No. It is just the 'at times' part."
"You expect me to give up the man's role fully? No. I quiet enjoy fucking you until you can't walk."
   She climbs off of me and lifts my hips. My body up, only upper back against the bed.
"I feel quite cocky right now. I want to eat your pussy. Make you scream my name. Take your come."
"Oh.. my.. god.."
"Too much?"
"No. Just.. Fuck me already."
   She smirks. "So eager."
"Heartfire, please."
"I like that."
"You're such a tease. Talk big game but do noth.."
   She cuts me off with my own moan as she takes my sweetspot in an open kiss. After a few minutes of nothing but her sucking at me, she pulls back.
   I growl.
"Goddamn tease."
"Awe and here I was going to compliment on how sweet you are."
   I nearly choke on my breath.
"You really are cocky right now. What has gotten into you?"
"Nothing. Yet. Your tongue will soon."
"You're literally killing me."
"Not just yet, Sire. Not yet."
"Heartfire."
   Her tongue trails along my clit once.
"You're throbbing."
"I'm also getting frustrated."
"Awe. Sire, you really want this don't you?"
"WHY ARE YOU TAUNTING MEEEEE" I yell in a whine.
"Because you make it fun."