The End (GxG) (Sequel to The Middle)

Chapter 93

-JAMIE'S P.O.V-

"I'm so fat."
"No. You're carrying Tim. There's a difference."
"Yeah but he's taking forever to come out. He needs to evac. I miss being able to see my damn toes."
    She laughs at me before sighing.
"Any day now."
"Momma's big." Alex walks in and flops on the floor with Penelope.
"See. Even Alex agrees I'm fat."
"You're not fat, J."
"Mommy?"
"What's up, Panda?"
"I'm hungry."
"You just ate."
"I'm hungry."
    Lynn sighs and gets up. She grabs Alex and they go in the kitchen. A moment later they come out with my plate of cookies.
    I take one and slowly nibble. I really shouldn't be eating these... cause I'm fat.. But they're so good.
    Lynn kisses my cheek. Within the hour Alex is asleep. She's amazing with sugar crashes.
    I'm about ready to pop. These months leading to this have been fast. With Alex and work keeping me on my toes, I am never not busy.
"I'm so faaaat."
"Stop saying that."
"Let's rhyme?"
"Oooo look a cat." Alex blurts out and points to a kitty on tv. I thought she was asleep....
     Lynn tries to hide the laughs but fails miserably. She lays her head on my shoulder and rests her hand on my belly. As she does Tim kicks.
    You know, I didn't think a baby kicking would actually be painful. I just thought it was like a light feeling the mother would feel and that be it but no. Or maybe Tim is just a super kicker.
    Lynn leans down and kisses my belly. She's done this so many times, so many. I love it though because of how cute she is with it.
    I do miss my pillow a lot. A lot. A real lot. Like more than I did when she was pregnant. And that's probably cause I'm fat and hormonal.
"You're not fat. Stop fucking saying that." She whispers so Alex doesn't hear.
"Alex." I make a pst noise.
    She looks away from the tv with a cookie halfway in her mouth. Oh dear god.. I'm looking at me... cause I do that.... a lot. I didn't even see her reach for another cookie.. I swore she was asleep.
"Will you get me a bottle of water?"
     Alex goes running in the kitchen and comes back with 2 waters. She hands one to me and one to Lynn. I can't help but smile to her.
   She climbs on the couch and sits between Lynn and I. Lynn keeps her head on my shoulder and Alex lays her head on my belly, which Lynn keeps a close eye to.
     I can't wait to have Tim. I'm terrified, yes and no, I didn't tell Lynn. No one knows about the dream. But I'm ready for Tim to vacate because I'm tired of being kicked around all night and can't sleep or getting random cramps.
    I mentally sigh and continue watching Harry potter with my little family. I'm surprised Alex isn't on the floor with Penelope, Daisy and Zeus but I guess she doesn't want them right now. I don't mind, I love holding my babygirl whenever I get the given chance because she's always wanting to be with the animals.
    And that makes sense because she has literally be surrounded by them her whole life. I can't believe she's turning 4 in a few months. It's fucking crazy.
    Alex falls asleep about halfway through the movie, with her thumb in her mouth. We've tried so hard to get her to stop but it's an automatic response when she sleeps. It's cute though.
"I saw May yesterday."
"Oh yeah?"
"She wants to visit when you have Tim. I told Alex that she could if she wanted to and if you're doing okay."
"That would be awesome. I think maybe they would be great friends."
"I have no doubt." She kisses my cheek.
"Let's get her to bed? Then head to ours as well?"
"That sounds like heaven, maybe he will let me sleep tonight."
"You stay here, babymama. I'm going to carry you upstairs."
"You don't have to."
"Please? I feel so useless right now, Jamie. Just let a worrying wife do her job and protect."
"You're not useless.. But if that's is what you wish, I will wait for you."
    Lynn lifts Alex gently and Alex curls in Lynn's arms and manages to hold on to her. My loves, they're so beautiful and like always, I tell them every day. Lynn carries Alex off to bed and like I said, I wait.
   Lynn sighs as she comes down the stairs.
"What's wrong?"
"We're never going to get her to stop sucking her damn thumb."
"I don't think so either. She will grow out of it."
"When though? She's almost 4." She pauses. "Jesus fuck has it been that long?"
    I laugh lightly to her as she lifts me in a bridal carry and starts to walk up the stairs.
"It's been that long."
"Time doesn't really have a time with us, if you haven't noticed."
"You make no sense and I understand you. Yeah, I've noticed. I remember our wedding like it was yesterday. Fuck, I remember Abby setting us up."
"Don't forget your stutter cause you were nervous around me."
   She lays me on the bed and crawls in next to me. She pulls me to her as close as she can, though it's not very close at all. I feel like a fucking beached whale.
   She rolls her eyes at my thought.
"I remember how nervous I was when I gave you my number. I was actually looking for friendship at first, you know. But each time I looked into your eyes... I fell."
    Her grey eyes turn a shiny silver as she shows pure love. I smile to her.
"You are my best friend, Ly. My best friend and wife."
"I'm terrible at both." She laughs out.
"You're not."
     She smiles.
"You're so beautiful."
"You are too, Koala."
"Nah. I'm a fatty."
     She laughs at me and kisses my cheek. "You're not. You're beautiful and I love you."
"I love you too."
"Oh yeah. Except for the time you tried to strangle me in my sleep."
"I didn't mean to..." my heart slightly breaks.
"I know, love. I've been there. The dreams. They get crazy."
"For sure.. But I'm sorry."
"We're good, Jamie." She kisses my cheek again.
    It's like a wave. A wave of bricks and I'm instantly tired. I give in quickly.
"I love you, Ly."
"I love you too, Koala."

    My heart shatters but I can't figure out why. I spin in circles until a force stops me.
"You need to tell her, bird. You don't have much time left."
"How the hell do I tell her something like that? I know you showed me.. But I don't want her to go through that."
"She needs to know, bird. You have to tell her the truth. Before it's too late and you have a short window."
"Can you tell me how long?"
"Soon."
"Soon as in like an hour. Soon as in a day. Soon as in like 30 seconds. Give me something, dad."
"Soon, bird. Tell her."
    I'm pushed back and I fall.

    I wake in a heavy breathing. Lynn's quick and sits me up. She sits behind me and I sigh.
"What's going on, Jamie?"
    ...I can't do this without her looking at me..
"Come here.."
    She moves so she's in front of me.
"I have to tell you something. And it is bad. I need to tell you before it's too late though."
"O..Okay.." She stutters out in confusion.
"When it comes time to have Tim. Something is going to happen to me."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not sure the details, I just know one, really..."
"Okay?"
"Lynn, somehow there will be a complication. I'm not sure how or what will cause it... But I had a dream.. And in the dream.. I said I had a hysterectomy."
"You wait until now to tell me?" Her voice wavers as her tears flow.
"I was afraid."
    Everything goes in slow motion. Every single little tick of the clock is in slow motion. Her mouth opens but no words come out..
   Her tears run down her cheeks and her eyes turn the purest of clear with sadness. I can't look into pure sadness anymore so I look down. Her hand slightly shaking.
    My heart is being torn in a million pieces by her deafening silence. I knew telling her would hurt her and that's why I didn't want to. I knew telling her would do this and cause me my own heart break.
    And now she's just silent and it's scary. She's blocked me from her thoughts and it's rare she does that. She's angry but also sad.
    I fucked up. I should have either told her sooner or not have told her at all. And I'm leaning toward option two.. But at the same time I'm not.
   She did deserve to know so she knows she won't be losing me. I don't think so anyway. But by her silence, it feels likes she's trying to detach herself from me so she doesn't feel it anyway.
    I can't tell. And my mind is racing so fast. She must hate me.
   She has to hate me. She should hate me, maybe it would be better if she did. My heart just hurts to the thought.
    Time resumes it's normal pace or to what I believe it does... And she speaks..