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mia is awaken by the abrupt opening of sean's bedroom door, and she falls backwards when she realizes she fell asleep waiting for him to come outside.
"what are you doing there?" he asks in a monotone voice, swerving around her to make his way to the kitchen.
before mia stands up, she catches a glimpse of few empty cans of beer sprawled out across sean's bedroom floor. she straightens herself and follows sean to the kitchen.
"i was just trying to see if you were okay," she mumbles quietly. "are you?"
"yeah," he says plainly as he takes a sip of water. "why wouldn't i be?"
"last night.." mia's voice trails off. "you kept saying 'i'm sorry' over and over again."
sean looks at mia for a second then looks away, walking over to the closet to grab his coat. "that was nothing, really."
"it doesn't sound like nothing sean..."
"i had a panic attack, okay? i get them all the time," he shakes his head, avoiding mia's gaze.
"sean-"
"i have somewhere to be, stop worrying about me," he says coldly as he shuts the door behind him.
mia sighs and shakes her head as she walks over to the restroom. as she is about to turn the knob, her eyes flicker back to sean's room. for once, he didn't lock his bedroom door before leaving.
she contemplates for a moment, wondering whether or not she should go in. despite her hesitation, she turns around and walks into his room, hoping that she'll get some sort of hint as to what happened to sean last night.
ignoring the piles of tissues and empty beer cans, his room was fairly clean and untouched. the three walls were painted a light grey while the last one behind sean's bed was a brick wall. there's a flat screen tv opposing that wall, and a computer sitting on a desk off to the corner of the room.
there's only one piece of decoration in the entire room, and it's a quote framed one the wall that says, "Time: The Healer and The Killer."
she takes a step further, finding a calendar. for a moment, she thinks it'll have the answer but the only thing she finds is sean's work schedule sprawled across the pages.
she sighs once more and leaves his room, closing it behind her.
-
a few hours pass, and mia finds herself in a coffee shop with maddie.
"i don't get it mads," mia stares at the latte before her.
"why do you care if you understand him or not? i thought you hated this guy," maddie replies absentmindedly while she scrolls through instagram on her phone.
"the guy basically just told me he gets frequent panic attacks! isn't that a little worrisome?" mia interjects. "you can't get them frequently for no reason.."
maddie sets her phone down and places her hand on top of mia's, looking at her sympathetically, "you can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed,"
mia doesn't respond and continues to stare at the ground.
"i know deep down you think that'll you be able magically heal this guy and he'll transform into the knight in shining armor you always dreamed of," maddie frowns. "but you can't wait around forever. don't make his problems yours too."
mia's eyes flicker to the countdown on her wrist then over to maddie.
"maybe he'll come around one day, but right now, you need to be happy for yourself," maddie says softly.
as mia is about to respond, her phone starts to buzz. she pulls it out of her pocket to see julian's name flash on the screen.
"i have to take this, i'll be back in a bit," mia excuses herself from maddie and walks outside of the coffee shop. the cold new york wind greets her, and she presses the answer button.
"julian, what's up?"
"i'm in your apartment right now," julian's says with a hint of distress in his voice. "what happened last night?"
"oh," mia mumbles. "sean and i went out for some drinks, but then-"
"what happened after that?" he interrupts his voice sounding even more worried than before.
"he said he had a panic attack, he kept repeating 'sorry' over and over again for hours,"
"fuck," julian curses under his breath.
"can you tell me what's going on?" mia worries.
"look i can't tell you much, but you shouldn't have done that mia, at least not today of all days,"
"what are you talking about?"
"you should never take sean to a bar when he gets like that," julian says seriously. "you do realize sean has a severe drinking problem, right?"
"wait what?" mia's eyes widen, and the images of alcohol flash in the background of every time she's seen sean come rushing to her.
"mia, sean's an alcoholic,"
/
after a few hours of driving in silence, sean pulls off the freeway and finds himself in the parking lot of his destination.
he stares at the steering wheel and takes a deep breath before exiting his car. he adjusts his jacket despite the wind messing it up all over again.
he looks at the sign reading, "Anderson Mental Rehabilitation Center".
he pushes the doors open and hesitantly makes his way to the front desk.
"name?" the woman asks him with her eyes still focused on her clipboard.
"sean lew," he answers. "i'm here to see someone."
