Sterek One Shots

Till I'm Whole Again

Till I'm Whole Again by bucktooth22

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Derek was in the hospital hooked up to machines, bandages covering more of him than not. He was hooked up to all sorts of machines that beeped and wheezed. Stiles was sitting beside his bed, not having left for the days Derek had been in this condition. He hadn't really been paying attention except for the un-blinking stare he had, sitting back and staring at the wall across from him blankly.

REWIND

Stiles hadn't told anyone. Maybe it had been making it worse the whole time but he hated himself. He hadn't told anyone because, what would they think? The only people he would tell were his father, Scott or Derek. His father would freak out, and scramble together money for a therapist or something. Scott, he was a bit of a wild card. In Stiles' mind it played out with Scott getting mad at Stiles for not telling him sooner. Derek, Stiles really didn't know how he would react. He had been wearing long sleeves for weeks now but it was okay because it was winter. They helped cover the fresh cuts. They helped hide them while Stiles dealt with it. Death with all the hate he felt about himself. Only thing was, he was adorable, awesome even. But he hated himself at the same time. He'd laughed at it before, yes and he knew it was crazy, but it's not as if it were something he could control. Stiles flipped open his laptop and scrolled through something, he wasn't really paying attention to. He smiled and played along, put on a mask whenever he was with people but now, it was his alone time. He didn't have to pretend anymore. "Fuck this." Stiles snorted as he snuck to the bathroom and grabbed the razor blades before scurrying back into his room. Only thing was, Derek was sleeping on the roof of his house. Don't ask why, he's Derek. It wasn't the first night he'd done it but it was the first night he'd done it and smelt blood. And that particular sweetness that indicated Stiles. Derek was by the window, eyes scanning until they landed on the bloody hand of Stiles as he dug the razor into his arm. Derek struggled frantically with the window before getting it open and lunging at Stiles. Maybe not his best plan, it ended up with the razor blade in his own arm and blood all over his black tank top. Stiles blinked at him slowly, not seeming to comprehend what was happening. Derek snarled and pulled the razor blade from his arm, dropping it on Stiles's desk before dragging the boy to the bathroom by his wrist where his hand was firmly locked. Derek bandaged up Stiles's arm while his own healed before dragging him back to the bloody bedroom.

"Start talking." Derek snarled as he shoved Stiles to sit on his bed while he stood above him, arms crossed menacingly.

"Why are you in my bedroom? I mean what were you doing? Creep. Now my bedroom's a mess. It'll be such an effort to clean it. I hope nothing got on my laptop." Stiles did as he was told, avoiding what Derek wanted to talk about. Derek grabbed Stiles by his wrists and pushed him onto his back on the bed, crouching over him.

"Shut up." Derek snarled. Stiles thought of all the times he'd fantasized about this. Then made himself hate himself more because he was too sacred to actually tell Derek he liked him.

"Make up your mind. I mean really. Is that a wolf thing? Not being able to make up your mind? Or is it just a Derek thing?" Stiles continued.

"Just with you, it's a Derek thing." Derek whispered as he put his head down on Stiles' shoulder, seeming defeated.

"Hey man, you okay?" Stiles asked.

"Tell me why you hurt yourself." Derek said softly.

"The usual reasons. Self loathing and stuff." Stiles laughed casually. "Teenager stuff." He shrugged.

"Self...loathing?" Derek asked, lifting his head to look into Stiles' eyes. Stiles shrugged again and nodded. "You're joking." Derek said hopefully. Stiles raised one eyebrow.