Disillusionment - Matthew Daddario

F o r t y T h r e e

Matt,

I'm having a rough day, so you're going to get the tougher side of my remaining anger today, you'll get the sappiest and the whiniest bits.

On days when I was at my lowest and your betrayal had just added to the pain I was already feeling since the loss of Seb and my mental health deteriorating. I used to take a deep breath and close my eyes. Wanting nothing more than to scream out loud, but I didn't. I never did, not once. I kept them open and used all my strength I had remaining me kept everything inside; quiet.

It never stops hurting, the loss, the grief or the betrayal, especially after giving someone the best of you, then still having to watch them hand it all over to someone else. No it never stops, it's always there, you just find better coping mechanisms.

From Ivy.