Disillusionment - Matthew Daddario

F i f t y F o u r

Matt,

Words can't describe, the jumble of emotions I unhinged reading your letter.

Firstly there was horror. Your handwriting is awful. I didn't think it could get any worse than it was before, but boy was I wrong!

Second, came surprise. We spoke so easily at the awards show, not an ounce of worry, fear or guilt showed. Nothing that it appeared you felt in your letter, was visible when we met. So your words took me by complete surprise, to hear you so troubled and guilt ridden.

Thirdly was relief, relief that after all this time you replied to my never ending letter entourage of hatred. I'm so sorry for how far I took those by the way. I was part of the problem and reason as to why things ended so awfully, so I should never have blasted you with the full brunt of my anger.

Lastly, I felt peace and happiness. I was at peace with everything, the world and my life at that exact moment. It was like a final puzzle piece slot into position.

I think that final piece was you Matt. I think I was missing my best friend, you were once the most important person in my life, you knew everything there was to know about me. Then you were gone and I was in limbo I think, loving my life and living it to the fullest, but still all the while, missing you.

Receiving your reply, brought me through the other side. It was the start of getting my best friend back and that comforted me. It bought me happiness that I cant describe.

So I guess I'm thanking you Matthew. I know it sounds bizarre but after coming full circle and seeing you again, I think I'm healed and happy.

From Ivy.