Disillusionment - Matthew Daddario

T w e n t y T h r e e

Matthew,

Reason 4.

This will be the hardest to address yet the quickest to do so.

Once I get it out, everything will flow and I won't be able to stop myself talking, well writing.

It's a stupid reason to have loved you, because to be honest if anything it's a reason for me to have hated you.

And I do, but at the time I loved you.

Especially now you've done a complete 180, it doesn't even stand to be a reason to have loved you.

You promised me the world Matt. A future with thriving careers, a beautiful house with a porch, children, pets and a farm. Of course this was if we carried through the marriage pact if we were still alone years from then.

But you meant every word.

Well at least you did until you left.

Matthew; you were my first heartbreak. You were the first guy I cried over.

Because you just left and never said goodbye.

For that I don't thank you. The way to say goodbye for me, isn't a clean break with me having absolutely no idea you were leaving and never returning.

But during it all; I still loved you. I was certain you'd change your mind and come back to me, realising just how much of a mistake you had made.

Despite you leaving, breaking my heart and bloody hell, the betrayal when I realised what was happening? At that moment, I still waited for you to come back because I loved you.

But the reason this is on the list? Is because eventually once all the stupidity went away, I realised you were the first and only guy that would ever break my heart and hurt me.

I was never going to let another person destroy me like you did. I would be stronger and smarter next time.

Or I'd just die alone. Living on a farm surrounded by puppies or something.

Who knows?

So I guess this is a thank you. Thanks for completely helping ruin my trust in people.

Love Ivy.