Disillusionment - Matthew Daddario

F o r t y T w o

Matt,

I'm going to vent the last of my pent up anger in these next few letters; then I'm done.

I've realised now, with the help of my therapist, where I stand.

I'm independent. I'm strong. I'm getting through this.

I have a fresh start lined up. I've packed up everything from the house and I'm ready to move on.

But I won't do that without getting rid of everything that holds me down, my anger being the main one.

Matty have you ever had that one moment where you have to take a deep breath before speaking, to stop yourself from crying because you're so close to losing all control?

I used to. On a daily basis when I was trying to understand why you chose her, why you went against everything you promised and stood for.

Now I see that I will never understand because I'm not you and I'll never be able to know what drives a person to their individual choices.

It's my own fault I got hurt in the end. I shouldn't have let you in. But when you held my hand I felt so safe and I forgot how bad love can hurt you when it ends.

Once you love someone, you find it so hard to stop. Trust me; I know.

From Ivy.