Reveries & Wonders

Label in my existence (LGBTQ+)

Don't put a label on my head,  saying I'm not human. Don't put a label on my soul,  questioning why am I different from each one of us. Don't put a label on my existence pinpointing my orientation.

Just don't.

Being a gay is like a person finding for home, striving for happiness,  and ignoring to know what's right or wrong. Being gay is like a person lying on a bed, my pillow is the witness of my midnight tears of sadness, hiding my true colors in my closet, and dying to come out. Being gay is like a person with disability. Nothing is wrong,  but everything is not right. Where do I put myself in this society when there's so many eyes glaring at me,  dagger in hand and ready to slit my throat in half just because I do not side with your belief.

Where is home?

Oh, I forgot. I already found my home in her arms. She's my universe, while I'm her world. She's my life while I'm her better half. She's my everything while I'm still the person willing to give my all just to make her happy.

But that's what I thought.

My heart stopped to beat  when she died. She's not lifeless,  she's not in a coffin nor devoid of breathing,  she's alive, walking in the city of bones because of me. I dragged her in my wicked world,  and she's suffering like me. No one can save us. No one is willing to understand our vulnerables vessels and fragile glass feelings.

And I thought I can be happy,  but it turns out that I don't have the right to smile and believe that I should exist. Because you believe that this is just a phase,  and we're just confused and deranged.

That's why I held her hand tight while we're at the edge of this sky-scraping building,  trying to escape from the world we live in. I embraced the lightness of my body as the air resistance try to rip my bones apart. As my head hit the pavement,  I can't help my lips to form a smile while scarlet-red started to devour my vision.

And now, I'm finally free.

But then, a gentle touch caresssed my skin as my eyes flutter open. There I saw myself staring at me, genuinely smiling and chest glowing in a spark of red. She said, "Love conquered it all. " As I roam my sight around,  there are no labels on their heads anymore,  dividing us from one another.