Reveries & Wonders

The Dusk of Dawn

Warning: Disturbing scenes ahead. Read at your own risk.

Esme opened her black dull eyes when she heard distant voices. They were gibberish and no words registered to her consciousness. She blinked and slowly roamed her eyes to the room. She shifted to the side and arose, gently pushing the blanket away from her body, and finally noticed the ground beneath her feet. She stopped herself from gasping. It looked like a void and it reeked like a rotten sea. She quickly covered her nose and then she stood up on the bed. She lifted her gaze and tried to find a way to escape from the ceiling but she almost stumbled back from what she saw. 

The ceiling was a mirror. 

Her knees turned to noodles and she sighed weakly. Her body trembled and she embraced herself. Coldness seeped into her bones. She could not take off her sight from the reflection. There were hundreds of her staring deeply into her soul while sinister smiles were etched on their lips. Nobody saw her make those faces. She knew she kept them hidden inside her, concealed that even her own mind could not have the courage to pull them out to the surface; what made them manifest into those nightmares?

Esme choked her squeal when the reflections suddenly rushed forward and instantly came out of the mirror. Hundreds of pale hands swarmed over Esme's body and they slammed her on the bed. Those hands suddenly turned to claws and ripped her luscious flesh. Their mouths gaped open that revealed their razor-sharp teeth and they devoured Esme like they were never a part of her. 

Esme cried but no sound came out from her mouth. The slurping sounds of the monsters kept her awake as she felt her body became numb from being torn apart. One creature found its way to her head and they stared at each other face to face. Esme was beautiful--radiating like a ray of sunshine and innocent like a dove. However, the monster was the exact opposite. It smelled like dirt. Black sticky ink oozed out from her horrendous eyes and her neck was twisted.  It licked her face, 

"You see what your eyes wanted to see."

"You hear what your ears wanted to hear."

"Tell me, Esme, how long will you live on this nightmare?"

Esme opened her eyes and the smell of alcohol came rushing into her nostrils. She groaned. She slowly rose up and the bottle in her hands fell down on the floor with a thud. She clutched her head when it started to throb. Her eyes were ringing as she leaned on the wall for support. A lot of people pass through her but no one even took a glance. The world is full of voices and Esme was just a noise in the background. 

She went to the bathroom and entered a cubicle. She positioned her head on the bowl and she threw up almost all of the food and alcohol she consumed that night. She quickly wiped her mouth after and moved out like nothing happened. She leaned on the sink and opened the faucet. Warm running water made her back to her senses. 

Disgusted from the thought, Esme fished out her wallet and grabbed her tiny pack of euphoria. She opened it and placed it in the palm of her hand.  She inhaled the substances and her mind was instantly taken to the stars; she immediately felt intoxicated. She lost some sense of control and the packet fell from her grasp. Her lips formed into a curve when the room started to move in circles. Groggily, she walked out of the bathroom and went for the stairs. She only took two steps until she stumbled and slid down, covering her fragile body with wounds and gashes, but she laughed like a maniac and stood up with shaking knees. Bliss messed up her brain so bad that her body could not even give her signals what was wrong with her.

When she finally came down, a woman dancing on the table with her glowing crimson eyes, voluptuous body, and long wavy hair caught Esme's attention. The time slowed down and the upbeat music became slow and enticing. Esme's pupils dilated and she found herself making a way through the crowd just to feel that silky skin on her grasp. 

Their gazes met and the woman smirked. Esme gulped when the beautiful woman climbed down the table and started to walk away without breaking eye contact with her. Like a bee attracted to the fragrance of a flower, no matter how many times she stumbled and almost collapsed, she still pursued the woman down to her darkest roads up and up to the graveyard. 

The woman stopped and turned to Esme. She jumped towards her and wrapped her legs on Esme's hips. Esme embraced her curves and did not waste a second to crush her lips against hers. The woman smiled and deepened the kiss. Esme felt addicted to the honey and milk scent of the woman and her grip tightened. She did not want to let her go.

Esme's forehead curled up when the woman suddenly pulled away from the kiss and smiled. Her crimson red eyes glowed. She found herself leaning in for a kiss like an addict desiring for more but suddenly, a pair of pale hands reached for her neck and pulled her away from the enchantress. Esme fell to the ground just right beneath an open grave and the soil devoured her entire existence.

"Who taught you to unlove yourself so sweetly that you actually thought it tasted good?"

Esme opened her eyes and she was welcomed with vast blue skies. She looked down and noticed that she finally returned to the place where she belonged. Her dress was white; clean and untainted. She gazed at her back and watched her wings abound the horizons, giving light and hope for those people who could see it. She clenched her fists. No matter how ethereal her existence could be, her chest still felt heavy. 

She mustered her strength and crossed her arms against her body. She inhaled sharply and muttered in a low voice, "Set free."

She screamed in pain when her wings started to perish on fire. Every nerve on her body tingled, a burning sensation spread throughout her body, and beads of sweat fell like a waterfall. The skin on her back turned black and her burnt wings were pulverized to ashes. With a last sigh, Esme fell like a feather dancing in the wind.  From the cracks on her back, the crispy sounds made by sprouting roots were heard. A different kind of flower bloomed due to Esme's resolve; a flower as pure as white that bled blood.

###

Nightmare - How Esme portrays herself

Party - how society saw Esme; they were blind to her struggles

Enchantress - Esme's desires; her passion; her true self

Burnt Wings - letting go of her burdens/privileges

Bleeding flower - Acceptance; something beautiful came out from her scars. The color was still pure but it's tainted by blood (passion). 

Esme - love so whatever her actions, it will reflect whose love matters to her the most.

The Dusk of Dawn - the darkness of light; the death and beginning; sometimes the beginning of something better was not always beautiful.