Reveries & Wonders

Comfort of Emptiness

It's hard to be alone with my thoughts

my mind feels like a foreign land

and my body desires to get rid of it.

I try to distract myself with things,

things I consider beautiful

Pretty, kind, sad, depressing,

but it only leads me to an abyss

an abyss where darkness embraces me

I find it comforting though.

The silence is overwhelming.

I wonder if I could stay here.

In the hole I threw myself in.

The light above is frightening.

Reality sounds so scary.

But at least here,

they could not follow me.

The emptiness inside my chest,

is much better.

Much better than my own voices,

trying to rip my soul apart.

Much better than my own faces

Hovering above the pit

That I don't have the courage to see.

I don't want to go the surface,

it will only shatter me.

My heart is hollow

and my skull feels light,

But that's okay.

This is much better.

This is better.

I don't need to be somebody else.

I don't need to think about it anymore.

I'm just going to curl on the floor.

Starving, exhausted, lifeless.

Until eternity turn me to ashes.

Yes, I want this.

I need to want this.

This is the only way,

I can save myself.

From me.