Words are Words (Dan Smith - Bastille Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

"I'll see you soon." I assured him, looking into his eyes for the last time before turning my back and walking down the steps.

***

*1 week later*

It has been a week since I last spoke to Dan, thinking about it, what I said to him...still made my stomach churn, I felt beyond guilty for just practically running away from him like I always do. I always run away from the people I care about. I just..I don't know if I really care, I mean is that really even possible? I hardly know Dan.

It was nearly time until I was going to have my dinner, we still didn't have hardly any food in my apartment so I was going to go out with Ashton to a restaurant called 'The Fellon'.

I grabbed my black bag off the side and said goodbye to Jake before looking in the mirror one more time, sighing as I fixed my hair and moved it out of my face. I was going to meet Ashton there as he went out today to catch up with one of his friends that lived around here.

I smiled to Jake before he walked into the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and opened the door, my heart stopped at the sight infront of me, I glanced behind me quickly to check if Jake was still stood there as my breath got caught in my throat and all the feelings came rushing back up to the surface. I looked back around to see the guy stood infront of me again, his dark blue eyes looking into mine, they held a thousand thoughts and not one I could guess.

I finally gulped and cleared my throat before shutting the door behind me and stepping outside into the cold.

"Dan? What are you doing here?" I mumbled, my hand trembling as I removed it from the door handle.

"I.. you know what, I just wanted to see you. No explanation needed." He smiled, clueless of the situation I was being forced into right now.

He and Jake were practically metres apart and I couldn't seem to process what was happening. I tried to smile back but it probably held more worry and nervousness that happiness. I tried to say something to clear the tension between us.

"I..um.."

"I'd like to apologize..for last week. Kyle..he ruined the..whatever it was. He ruined it right?" Dan muttered, keeping direct eye contact with me as he held his hands together infront of himself.

I nodded, looking behind my shoulder to see if the curtains in the living room were shut. They were.

"Anyway...I'm sorry." He added, following my gaze to the window. I tried to snap back to the reality that was stood infront of me and processed his words in my head, smiling back at him.

"No, no Dan, you don't need to be sorry."

He shook his head and looked at his feet, smiling a little but in disbelief to what I said. He placed his hand on the railing and still held his focus on the ground.

I should be the one apologizing, I mean..I practically ran away from you." I exclaimed, my voice getting louder.

He still shook his head as he scuffed his shoes on the pavement.

"I always run away." I whispered to myself, biting my lip.

He stood still now, his eyes melting within my gaze as I felt the tension begin to rise and it soon became unbearable. I couldn't just stand here and make small talk, I had to say what I wanted to say since that night.

"Okay, I'm just going to say this, and I know it's crazy and stupid..really stupid."

His eyes stayed focused on me, waiting for whatever I was going to blurt out at this moment. All his attention was on me and nothing else.

"But the other night, when we kissed, I don't know if it was the alcohol..or just the fact that I was in the moment.."

He stepped closer to me, taking his hand off the railing and bringing it to his side.

"But..all I do know is that I...I liked it." I carried on, looking into his eyes for what felt like the longest minute of my life.

"I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to. but I didn't, you did. And I liked it. Okay there, I sai-"

He surprised me by leaning into me and pressing his lips on to mine, his right hand reaching out and gripping on to my waist, pressing me firmly against the front door. Despite the fact that Jake was inches away, nothing could stop the complete liberation I felt right now, the rush of this moment making me shiver, my skin littering with goosebumps.

I closed my eyes, melting into his grip, the cold autumn air filling the tiny gaps between the two of us. He touched the back of my neck as a shiver worked it's way down my spine, his right hand still locked on to my waist.

I stood there pressed against the door, left breathless as Dan stopped to catch his breath, moving his lips away from mine. I looked back up at him through my eyelashes, the breeze blowing through my strands of hair, making it fly around my face as I gasped at the sudden cold air.

Dan moved forwards, leaning into me again but I used the palm of my hand to push his chest away lightly. He took a step back as his hands fell to his sides, his touch had gone from my neck and my waist, the feeling still left behind.

"I'm sorry..I" He stuttered, straightening his jacket.

"Don't be. It's just.."

"Just?" He snapped.

"Jake..he's home." I gulped, facing the reality of my life.

"Oh.." He murmered, stepping back away from me.

"It's okay..I still want to see you. I, I don't regret this." I smiled, trying not to scare him away. For once in my life I wasn't afraid to say what I wanted to say all along, reassuring dan as I surprised myself by leaning back into his body, his warmth surrounding me like a shield from the cold wind blowing onto my exposed skin, the hairs on my arms standing up on end.

I held the back of his neck and moved his head to face me, soft strands of his hair falling under the pad of my thumb.

I smiled and began to open my mouth to say something but no words were forming, I didn't have to say anything, all I needed was to be in the moment right now. He smiled, moving his own hand up and placing it over mine.

"So..are you going somewhere?" He asked, taking his hand away and hinting his eyes in the direction of my handbag placed over my shoulder.

"Right..yeah, I'm going to meet Ash actually, we're going out for dinner." I replied.

"Oh..cool." He smiled, nodding his head.

I hesitated before processing the words in my head, not afraid to say them.

"Do you wanna come?" I asked, my voice sounding casual but it held hope.

"I think it's best just to leave it for tonight." He smiled.

I forced a smile back, turning away from him and walking down the steps outside my apartment.

"I can walk you there..if you want." A voice chimed behind me. I smiled to myself before turning back around to face him.

"I'd love that."

***

Author's Note:

I'm going to be taking a break from writing for a while as I've got literally loads of revision for exams to do..like it's almost every night ughhh anyway hopefully I'll only be like 2 or 3 weeks I don't know. It might even be less if I get the time to write a chapter as I've already got the next few planned out haha anywaysss.

sorrry for leaving this on a cliffhanger I know it's really annoying btw thankyou for all the reads+votes again:))