Words are Words (Dan Smith - Bastille Fanfiction)

Chapter 26

*next day*

Dear diary

Dan and I practically texted all night, I don't even know what time until..probably 3 o'clock. But I wouldn't know as I ended up falling asleep.

I'm going to meet Dan today at his apartment now; again. Yes, I know..infact, I don't even know what I am doing with myself anymore. I haven't spoken to Jake in a couple of days but he told me this morning he was leaving for University tomorrow for like, a month. I know, it's crazy; and I kind of feel bad for thinking to myself that I'm relieved about it happening.

Violet

***

I brought myself up to Dan's door and knocked on the wood a couple of times before he answered it, a smile placed on his clean shaven face and his arms being quickly shoved through the pockets in his grey hoodie; which, he wore all the time.

I smiled back to him and let myself in his home before closing the front door from behind and leaning my back against it.

"Hi." He smiled, his low voice rumbling through his chest.

"Hey." I lightly laughed as I walked closer to him.

I felt my humour fade as he began to graze his calloused fingertips up my neck and bring his body closer to me. I promised myself this morning that I didn't want anything to happen, I didn't want to feel this way but I guess those were just long lost thoughts now. Before I could make out any words, his lips brushed themselves against mine. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and left soft kisses up and down it until he made it clear that this wasn't enough.

Well that escalated quickly.

He began to harshly bite down on my neck, using his arm to hold on to my waist and pull me closer to him. He ran his tongue over the freshly sore skin on my neck and carried on doing this down to my collarbones, sliding his hand under my chin and tilting my head upwards.

Every bone in my body is telling me to enjoy this with him, and to be with him..but I know if I do, I risk becoming the girl who cheats on her boyfriend. And I don't want to be that person, I just don't know how I feel right now..my mind is in two different worlds. I couldn't take this anymore, he was driving me insane.

"Dan..." My voice trailed as I held firmly on to the back of his neck.

"Mmm.." Dan murmered with a smile as he kissed my jaw, right beneath my ear. He had no idea what I was thinking.

"Stop it." I said quietly, my lips parting in a smile. I don't feel much like smiling but I just can't help it. I lightly pushed his chest away.

"Stop what?" He teased as his hand moved strands of hair away from my face. I leant my face to the side as I fluttered my eyes shut.

"This?" He kissed one side of my face, making me laugh.

"Or this?" He kissed the other side of my face.

"Stop, seriously." I muttered, taking his hands away from around my face and reluctantly walking past him. I saw him in the corner of my eye looking straight at me in confusion to my actions. I can't bare to look at him as I know it will just make me feel even more guilty.

"What's wrong?" He questioned, wrapping his strong arms around my waist and pressing his lips against my neck.

I stayed silent for a few seconds; which felt like hours, just not knowing how to tell Dan how I truly felt.

"Mm, nothing." I finally said, my voice coming out more like a whisper. The only words I can seem to think of right now.

He took my shoulders in his hands and turned me round to face him; his eyes staring down straight into mine.