The Life Of The Daughter Of NCIS

Chapter 26: The Talk

Azalea

The turbulence as we descended woke me, I looked around and rubbed my eyes, everyone was already awake, looking around to make sure that everything was good. Only moments later did the wheels bounce along the tarmac and roll to a slow stop.

Dad took my bags and his own while McGee helped me down the steep ramp, the rest of the team bundled into an awaiting taxi while he loaded up the boot of his white pickup. I opened the door one handed and used the other to balance myself, by pirouetting on my uninjured ankle, I managed to face the correct way when Dad walked around and carefully lifted me into the seat despite my previous protests. "It's not weak or embarrassing to ask for help Az." He told me, I nodded and wordlessly handed him my crutches to put in the flatbed of his old SUV.

I closed my eyes as the familiar growl of the diesel engine grumbled to life, Dad shifted into first gear and with a slight judder the car was moving forward.

The drive back to Alexandria felt long and tedious, despite the fact that we were both people of few words, the silence felt awkward.

Sighing, he shut off the engine, I listened to it tick over for a few moments before reaching to unclip my seatbelt, Dad put his hand out and stopped me. "Let's talk about this." I slid the seat belt back into the plug and stared out the window at the stormy looking sky. "You, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, are asking me to talk about my feelings." He laughed, looking out of his window at our house "it sounds stupid." Dad muttered "it is," I agreed, "would you like me to spew some BS or the truth?" I watched as the first fat droplets of rain dashed against the windscreen and tumbled down. "The truth preferably." He replied, I shrugged "honestly, I don't know. Everyone wants me to feel sad or angry or hurting, but I really haven't worked out what I feel yet." I wasn't expecting a whole torrent of words to come out, but once I'd opened my mouth they forced their way out "and I don't know whether it's a bad thing or it's normal, I don't know what to do or what to say or how I'm supposed to act. I don't know how to be me." my voice became a few decibels higher as I reached the end, tears fell as violently as the sky's. Long arms stretched over the centre console and pulled me gently against them, I cried until his shoulder became soggy, and I just felt comforted by Dad's presence "I don't care about everyone, I just want you to be happy." I sniffed as he wiped my cheeks with the cuff of his jumper "can you take me somewhere, please?" I asked, "where do you wanna go?"

...

I looked down at the limp bouquet of supermarket flowers held in my arm, the mist-like rain leaving raindrops clinging to the cellophane.

Two identical white gravestones stood to attention in front of me, it was the first time I had been here. The only distinguishable differences between the two was the forename and inscription. Dede's said he was a dedicated Marine, father and husband, while Mama's said she was a dedicated wife and mother.

No heartfelt little sayings.

No 'they'll be sorely missed'.

Wordlessly I placed the flowers between their graves while running my finger against the smooth chiseled out rock. The ones previously placed had started to disintegrate into a horrid slippery brown mush, I wondered who put them there in the first place.

The simple sunflowers seemed to glow in the dark as I stood up. "I'm sorry I haven't visited, Mama, Dede, I promise I will come back soon." I whispered. I looked up and saw Dad waiting by the car, he had asked if I wanted company but I declined, this was something I had to do by myself. Slowly, I turned round and made my way back to the car and climbed in without a word.

...

Plastic take-away containers filled with various Chinese dishes littered the coffee stained table. "We picked up something to eat on the way back," Abby explained "yeah but I don't think the Uber driver was pleased," McGee added "Tony spilt a cup of sweet and sour sauce on his backseat." Dad rolled his eyes, heading off into the kitchen and returning moments later with half a dozen beers and a Caf-Pow! in Abby's reusable cup she leaves here, he placed them all on the table except for one for himself, everyone reaches in for their respective drinks.