How I hate him - ft. Luke Hemmings and 5sos

Girls night

What made my heart hurt the most, was sitting at home, all by myself. That was one of the moments my longing for Luke was at its best. Even with my best efforts to keep myself busy, there were times I was by myself.
It was now a Friday night, four days after the fight with Luke. Sitting all by myself was definitely not good for me.
Alyssa and Mila were at dance practise so that meant they wouldn't be home in an hour.
The feeling of being alone was eating me up inside. Especially because I was still trying to reach out to Luke. But he didn't answer: every time I called him it went straight to voicemail and I was about to give up. I didn't want to, though. Even when a part of me was sure that there was someone else in his life, another part of me didn't want to believe that.
The worst thing was that it wasn't unbelievable: he had told me all about the fans and other amazing people he had met so far. Surely he was getting enough attention, and I couldn't blame him for that. His popularity at school was nothing compared to how popular he was right now. And this was just the beginning. 

Finally being convinced that he wasn't the asshole he used to be, I didn't wnat to give that up. I wanted to trust my boyfriend with my whole heart, but right now he didn't really give me a reason to. 

"Hey, it's Luke Hemmings. I'm not picking up my phone right now so leave a message at the tone."
"Hey Luke, it's me again. Your girlfriend. Just letting you know I love you, and I'm sorry for getting mad at you the other day. I love you. Please call me back."

After leaving the voicemail for the last time, I walked up to my beddroom to change into more comfortable clothes. All I wanted to do was eat my weight in chocolate, but that wasn't the best way to deal with this. Instead I decided on watching yet another episode of some series I didn't even really like. Anything to pass the time.
Just when I was about to watch the next episode, something hit the door that led to my balcony. My parents had it made when they bought the house and both me and Demi had one. The balcony was kind of my safe haven. When I was younger I would drag my matress out and go stargazing. Now, when sleep wouldn't come, I sometimes still did that. From here, you could see the stars that formed the Seven Sisters. One of the stars would shine brighter than the others, and sometimes I imagined that one day, I would be one of the stars.

Something hit the door again. At first I thought it was nothing, but then I heard the same sound again. I shoved the curtains open and opened the door. Covering my head I looked out, just in case something was being thrown again.
When I looked down, I saw Mila and Alyssa standing in the back yard. 
"What are you doing here?" I wondered out loud.
Alyssa grinned. "Practise ended early so we decided to come entertain you."
"You know we have a doorbell, right?"
"Yeah dumbass, we rang. You didn't answer," Mila added, "And you look extremely bored, can you let us in?"
I nodded and went downstairs, letting my best friends in. They didn't hesitate and immediately flopped onto the couch. The three of us had been friends for so long now that each of our houses were practically our own. That was nice, having such a close relationship. Alyssa grabbed the remote and started browsing through the channels. I grabbed some cups and a couple of soda bottles. I filled the cups and sat down on the carpet, since my friends had taken up all the space on the couch. Mila lay with her long legs stretched out and Alyssa sat in some weird position that couldn't be good for her knees. My dog was laying inbetween them, leaving me no space. Not that I cared; I liked sitting on the floor.

"So, how are things with Luke going?" Mila wondered and I shrugged, still feeling sorry for myself. 
"I have no idea, actually. He hasn't answered his phone again. When he found out that we hung out with Sam and Toby, he freaked out. Like a lot. I couldn't convince him that we're just friends. Friends is a big word, really. He hung up and we haven't talked since."
Mila sighed. 
"That's so weird. Why wouldn't he believe you? You're his girlfriend! Shouldn't a relationship be built around trust? I just think you should leave him be for a while, no matter how hard it may be. He's getting on your nerves more than you should let him."

"I think you're wrong," Alyssa argued, "He should answer his phone. Jessy is his girlfriend and you should not treat your girlfriend like that!"
I shook my head. Mila was right, he was on my mind way too much. Of course, if it were happy thoughts that would be different, but now my mind was just running too much for its own liking. 
Telling my friends that we should drop the topic, we decided to watch The Hunger Games. But halfway through the movie I started to get sleepy. "I don't know about you, but I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up when the movie has ended."

After that I drifted off to sleep, and after what felt like only ten minutes, someone pinched my arm. I sat right up. "What a subtle wake up call. What's going on?"
"Michael is calling you." Mila handed me my phone. Not only had I not talked to Luke for days, Michael and I had also not been in touch for a while. No matter how bad Luke made me feel, I shouldn't neglect my oldest friend. 
"Hey, it's Jessy," I still sounded half-asleep.
"Hey, how are you?" My friend asked me, his voice hoarse.
"I'm fine. You?"
"Also fine, a little tired, though. My voice is completely messed up at the moment, so sorry if my voice sounds a little weird. Tour life is busy and tiring, but nice."
"I hope you're having fun, Mike. This is an opportunity of a lifetime! On another note, do you know why Luke isn't answering his phone?" I asked, knowing that Michael would tell me the truth.
"He isn't answering his phone?" He sounded surprised, "He has his phone in his hand all day. I just assumed he was texting you."
"Apparently not. Never mind. When are you coming back? Soon, right?"
"Saturday, I think. It depends on our flight. Why?"
"Oh, just wondering," I answered. Luke had failed to text me the details, even though I told him I was planning on picking him up from the airport. If he wanted that, he would've texted me. Now, I wasn't planning on going. From what I heard, he wouldn't even be happy to see me.
"Do you miss us?" Michael said with a playful tone in his voice. 
"Actually I do miss you," I said in all honestly, "I can't wait to hang out with you again, if you don't feel too cool for that," I joked, "Tell Luke I love him, okay?"

"I will. But I have to go. Bye Jessy!"
"Bye." I said and hung up.

I sighed and lay down on the couch. That chat with Michael gave me even more doubts about Luke...