Luke pov
What? No, this wasn't possible!
My heart started to beat too fast for its own good, but I blinked and forced myself to look. I forced myself to look at the two teenagers that were locking lips with each other. This was it. This was the final sign that showed that I had messed up for good. And I couldn't bear to see him and Jessy being intimate. I blinked another time and walked home, my steps light so that Sam and Jessy didn't see me.
I fell down on my bed and tried so hard not to cry, but of course I failed. "Stop crying, stop crying..." I kept repeating, but of course it didn't work. The tears streamed down my face. They made me feel weak. I felt so weak!
Luke Hemmings, the untouchable guy, was slowly breaking down. Pieces of my wall were breaking down, but nobody could see it. Nobody could know about the pain I felt, and nobody could know about how I was slowly pushing myself over the edge. My breaking point was almost reached, and I didn't know what to do anymore.
What would she do if she heard that I wasn't alive anymore?
Would she cry? Would she attend my funeral?Maybe she wouldn't even care. She acted like she didn't care about me, so why would she care about me then? I was absolutely sure nobody cared.
That thought running through my mind was what pushed me over the edge.
I picked up a piece of paper and began to write. The words just started to flow like my tears. Before they could fall onto the paper I swiped them away, because that would only make matters worse.I'm so sorry, but I can't take it anymore. I lost the girl I love with all my heart and now I am losing myself. I am going down the rabbit hole and I can't pull myself out. I may seem like a strong person, but truth is: I am not. Not at the moment. Take care of yourself. I love you more than I ever have shown.
Luke.I took another piece of paper, adressing it to her.
Jessy, I hope you care. If you don't, I get it too. What I did was so wrong and I know there's nothing left I can do to make it right. I wish you all the best with Sam and I hope he takes care of you. That he treats you better than I did. You deserve that. You are amazing and please, don't ever let anyone hurt you like I did.
Luke.I walked over to the bottle of pills I had thrown across the room and picked it up. I then walked over to grab a glass of water and sat down on my bed, laying down the letters on my nightstand. I emptied the bottle of pills and downed them with the water. No more hurting, no more having to face a hurt Jessy. Just a whole bunch of... nothing. That sounded good to me.
I didn't know what I was supposed to think as I drifted off, but the last thing that ran through my mind was 'Good night world.'
YOU ARE READING
How I hate him - ft. Luke Hemmings and 5sos
FanfikceI am Jessy. Who I hate? Luke Hemmings. God, how I hate that boy... But how would I ever know I was going to fall for that boy and all his problems?