How I hate him - ft. Luke Hemmings and 5sos

Advice

"Jessy, you should have known that I'm the last person you'd want to get advice from," Sam scolded when I met him at the mall, 
"You know I don't like Luke - and that's an understatement."

"I know," I sighed, leaning back in my chair, "But who else do I have to talk to, then? My best friends don't understand and they are harsh on me. I thought that you'd be at least a little softer on me." At this moment I just needed a friend, but somehow, nobody seemed to want to be. Of course I was being a little overdramatic, but my conflicted feelings got the best of me. I wasn't fit to be on my own right now, due to my tendency of overthinking. Sam really had become a friend, even if we kissed last night. We were still friends and I was glad that he wasn't being weird about this. Maybe a little, but that was okay...

Sam sighed and raised an eyebrow at me. He surely thought I was being overdramatic.
"Like I said, Jessy, you know you can trust me with anything, but I'm afraid you can't come to me for help with this."
With that being said he stood up. We walked to the parking garage where he parked his motorcycle, but just before he was about to take off, I stopped him. I took the keys out of the slot, hiding them behind my back to make sure he couldn't grab them. 

"Sam, I am dead serious. I can't do this alone. Who should I talk to?" 
Again, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 
"Try talking to Louis," he said after a while, "I'm sure he'd like to help you." 

"Seriously? Louis? Don't you think he has enough problems already? I'm not going to ask him for help!"
"Well then don't." He said and with two steps, he grabbed the keys from my hand. He started the engine and put on his helmet. 
"Wait," I said, "I'm sorry. I still want to visit him, though. You can go visit your sister and I'll visit him."
"You need a ride." he chuckled and his expression softened. Not wanting to get on his nerves, I just nodded and smiled at him. That seemed to work and he gestured for me to sit down behind him. 
With Sam driving at full speed - something he'd always do when I was with him - we soon arrived at the gates. We had called the institution when we stopped to get gas, so the gate opened without any questions. 
Louis looked up in surprise when Sam and I came walking up to him. I was so deep in thoughts that I hadn't noticed Sam had slung his arm around my shoulder. I only noticed when Louis asked, "Are you dating?"
"No!" Sam and I said at the same time and he dropped his arm. He walked inside to talk to Caroline, which left me alone with Louis. We hugged each other and sat down, him listening to my ranting as usual.
I decided to tell him about Luke. I didn't know if it was a good decision to tell him, so I made sure to ask him first. He agreed and he was clearly happy to help. My mood instantly improved a bit. Being the sweet person he was, he told me to be forgiving, even though that wasn't my intention. All he helped me with was that I now realised I shouldn't be harsh on myself and give myself some time. 
Our conversation really helped me, and when I got home I felt ten kilos lighter. However, when my mum asked me who I had been with, she got really happy. Suddenly my mood changed and I yelled at her, "Sam is just a friend, and I can't just leave Luke behind! This whole crappy situation is already breaking me!"
Earlier I had told her what happened, and somehow she thought that Sam was the solution for all my problems. 
Not planning to let anyone hear me crying, I ran up the stairs. Once I fell down on my bed, I let the tears flow. They seemed to never stop, but I didn't care anymore. For weeks I had told myself not to cry, but that clearly didn't work. 

Apparently my mum had called Sam (I had left my phone downstairs in the rush to get to my room), because after a soft knock he walked in. Just moments before, I had finally stopped crying, but when he came walking in I broke down again. 
For the whole night he let me cry whenever I needed to, and we watched movies the whole night. From Love Actually to Shrek, he endured them all. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts, and Sam did a good job distracting me from them.
No kissing, no touching except for the occasional hug, but no intentions to get something from me. That was the way it was supposed to be, and now I knew that Luke had crossed my boundaries so many times. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. 
It helped a lot to be with Sam, and he was just a friend to me right now. Maybe it could turn into more; some feelings were there. If there weren't, I wouldn't have kissed him last night. 

All the thoughts and the crying made me exhausted and I closed my eyes. Sam wrapped his arms around me, and the last thing I said before drifting off to sleep was,

"Thank you for being here for me."