How I hate him - ft. Luke Hemmings and 5sos

Reasons

It was Sunday morning and the doorbell rang. I was still in bed and heard Demi, my younger sister, open the door. She had been the reason we had moved to Sydney, which she couldn't be blamed for. For a long time, I actually did, because Luke had made my school days not the best, to say the least. When I grew up, I knew that it wasn't fair for me to take my anger at Luke out on her. She was seven years younger, but despite the age difference we got along very well. She always came to me for advice and we always read books together, snuggled up in my bed. I felt like it was my job as her big sister to educate her a little, but to spare her feelings I let her know nothing about the quarrels between me and Luke. 

Listening closely to hear who was at the door, my breath caught in my throat. Hopefully Demi wouldn't talk to him as much as she usually did. It was Luke. She and him got along fairly well, so that was the main reason I didn't let her in on my problems with this tall, blue-eyed boy. 

Wait, why was he even at our door? My nerves started kicking in, immediately setting me on edge. I silently begged Demi to not let him in. She was usually very honest, and the last thing I wanted was for her to let him go upstairs.
"Hey Demi, where's Jessy?" he said, and of course she replied that I was still in bed. "Should I go and get her?" she asked and I groaned. Please, say no, I now silently begged Luke.
"No, it's okay," Luke's low voice echoed bounced off the walls, "Could you tell her I stopped by, though?"
"Maybe, why? She doesn't like you, does she? She thinks I don't notice, but I heard her yelling at you at the restaurant."
Demi wouldn't be Demi if she wasn't being nosy.
"Don't worry about it, but no, she doesn't, to say the least. She... she hates me actually, but that's a big word."
"Why?" my sister questioned, not satisfied with his answer. Now it was getting risky and even though I was still in my pyjamas, I stood with my hand on the doorknob, ready to come out any second. 
"Well, I gotta go," Luke averted the question, "See you later!"
If it was up to me, he would not. 

When the door closed, I groaned. I knew I shouldn't be the one to feel bad about the things I said, but he sounded almost upset...
Putting on a hoodie over my shirt I walked downstairs. Demi happily greeted me, but went straight to the point. 
"Luke went by a little while ago. He told me to tell you. By the way, why do you hate him? He's nice to me."

"It's just someting that teenagers do, especially us, so it seems. Don't worry about it, you were very young when we started," I quoted making air bunnies, "Not liking each other".
"So you do have a reason." she countered and raised her eyebrows at me. 
"Zip it, it's none of your business," I said, making her shut up about it. Her ability to question people worked with other people, but I wasn't having it from my younger sister. 

After the delicious pancakes we had for breakfast the doorbell rang again, and I had the urge to run upstairs again. I had a feeling that it might be Luke again, and so did Demi. 
"Maybe it's Luke again. Should I get it?" 
I nodded, feeling grateful. She rushed over to the door, and once I saw from the corner of my eyes I breathed as a sign of relief. 

"Mikey!" Demi happily exclaimed. It was Michael and the happiness to see him again outweighed the fact that I still felt a little hurt by his actions in the past regarding Luke. It had been such a long time since we hung out and to be honest, I missed my former best friend. 
"Hey Demi, it's been a while, huh?" Michael wrapped my sister in a big bear hug. 
"Hey Jessy!" he happily said when he saw me and we hugged each other tight. Michael gave the best hugs and I was happy to return them.
"Hey Michael, how are you? Long time no see. What do we owe this pleasure to?"
"I'm good, you? Luke didn't feel like hanging out today, so my first thought was to stop by your house to play some video games. Are you down?" he said and I smiled. 
"Sure! I'm gonna get dressed first, be right back. Make yourself at home. Also, never let me know I'm the second-best choice again..." I grinned, only half-joking. It was still very obvious that Luke would always come first. 

When I came downstairs again, Michael was playing Mario Kart with Demi. 
"You lose!" Michael teased her and Demi rolled her eyes at him, handing me the controller. 
"It's been a while, so I might suck at this." I said while starting a new game.
"That's okay, I'm happy to beat you. Also, I have something I wanna talk to you about. You hate Luke, don't you?" 
He surprised me by getting straight to the point. Michael usually wasn't like this about sensitive topics - if you could call my hatred for Luke a sensitive topic anyway. 

"Why do you ask?" I shrugged, kind of surprised that he seemed in the dark about my hatred about Luke. As far as I was concerned, he knew about it.
"He told me you said that," Michael set down his controller, "It surprised me that he told me, because he isn't the one for sharing his feelings, you know. He seemed a little upset, actually. Not that I didn't know about your problems with him, but still." 
I raised an eyebrow, sceptical about what he just said. "Luke being upset? Mike, no offense, but I don't really think that Luke has feelings, except for hate, maybe." 
"Jess, come on, you know that's not true. What's really going on between the two of you? It seems to have gotten worse lately, but correct me if I'm wrong."
"Yes, I'll have to correct you. There's nothing going on between us, and I'd like to keep it that way. Yes, I might have told him I hate him, but it's the truth. He has been nothing but rude to me for seven years, so it's not weird that we hate each other. As if he would be upset by finally hearing it. As if. He feels the same way about me, I'm sure."

Michael seemed to get pissed off, because he uncharacteristically snapped back at me.
"Believe me Jess, I think we both know I know him a little better than you do. So can you please just believe me when I say you may have hurt his feelings? Because I have not seen him this upset in all the years Luke and I have known each other." 

Because I didn't want to piss Michael off any further I just shrugged. "Are you sure it's because of me? I wasn't that harsh on him."
Michael nodded. "Pretty sure. I think he wants to make it up to you. There are reasons for that, but he didn't tell me why. Maybe you can find out for yourself."o

After Michael left I kept beating myself up about it. 

And when I lay down in bed I still beat myself up about it.

Reasons...

but what reasons?