Married to the Game

13.The Dark Times

When I woke up the next day I had 62 missed notifications and I still didn't care. I through my phone back on my bed and went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth put some sweatpants on a tank top and put my hair in a bun. I looked myself in the mirror and said, "don't be that girl again." A tear fell down my cheek, but I wiped it very quickly.

*flashback*

I was sitting in my bed in the dark. Tears streaming from my eyes. I had the razor in my hand and I could feel the blood running down my wrist. In my head I could only think, "your so dumb to be with someone like this. You stupid little girl. Your dumb and your ugly just die already." As I began to open the pill bottle my room door opened and my dad came in. As he saw what I was doing he quickly ran to me and hugged me. He said that he loved me at lest 1,000 times. I cried and cried in my fathers arms. My mom came in too and they agreed that I needed help. I was then diagnosed with depression and it was all because of a boy. From that day on I had promised myself that I would never say I love you to someone again.

*present day*

I looked back in the mirror and realized I had a razor to my skin. I had slit my wrist twice and I could feel the warm blood running down my skin. I quickly through the razor into the trash and walked out of the bathroom. I went packed a bag and got into my car.

*on the phone*

A: "I need to come over I can't do it Danielle. I did it. I can't do it." Danielle knew everything and she was the only person that knew other than my parents and sister.

D: "boo come over right now I'm here." I hung up and stopped at the grocery store to get ice cream. As i was leaving paparazzi decided that today was their day to get the million dollar shot. They practically ran me over as I walked to my car. As I sat in my car I thought about the times when Blake would protect me from them and make sure that I was ok, but now basketball and parties was everything for him. I meant nothing to him anymore.

I arrived to Danielle's. I got out grabbed my bag and walked to the door. Danielle must have heard my car door closed because she opened the door as soon as I walked up. I grabbed her so fast and began just cried my eyes out.

D: "it's ok baby girl. Blake loves you and you don't have to go back to that dark place. I'm here for you..." She started to walk towards her living room. "Were here for you." I looked up to see on her couch DJ and Blake.

B: "Aubrey I'm so sorry babe...."I cut him off.

A: "you told them. What is your problem your the only one I trusted that information with. I can not believe you would do this to me." I started to pick up my bag when I heard a body get up from the leather couch and hands on my hips. Blake turned my around with tears in his eyes.

B: "Aubs. I love you. I would never leave you like that. I've never loved someone so much in my life. I've just been busy with basketball stuff and with playoffs coming up Doc wants us there as much as possible and in order for me to become a better player I have to do extra work and I know I can admit I have been going out a lot lately but that's because I'm so stressed out. I love you babe and I always will. You are not not interesting your very interesting....you make me interesting. I love you and I'm proud of you for staying strong. I just put my head in his chest and cried.

A: "you promised me.."

B: " I know baby and I'm sorry for that. Breaking promises can hurt and from now on I'm going to do my best to make this all up to you. Everyday! I love you." There was nothing else for me to say. I don't know If I could say that I loved him because I was hurting so bad. As things calmed down Blake stayed by my side the whole night. I felt that I didn't know who to trust anyone anymore.

B: "you wanna come home with me? I would really like that."

A: "are you talking to me? Me? Aubrey McDaniels? UM.....yea I guess I will do that because Ive missed Chaney." Chaney is Blake's dog. Blake and I said our good byes and got into his car. While he was driving he tried to grab my hand, but I pulled away.

B: "really?"

A: "yea really? I'm not ok with it yet. I just hurt so bad right now."

B: "babe we just ..."

A: "no not that cramps. Can we stop at Walgreens I need some tampons." Blake laughed and made we arrived.

B: "I'll get them what kind?"

A: "mhmmmm U by Kotex please!" I laughed as he got out of the car. He returned laughing. "What?"

B: "the lady at the register looked very confused."I laughed and grabbed his had as he started to drive. He looked over and pulled my hand up and kissed it. I smiled. I appeared to be happy but inside I was afraid that I would become that girl again.