Gotta Be Lou (A Larry Stylinson Fanfic)

Chapter Eight

Seeing Liam and Niall so happy made my heart throb. I wanted this to happen to Louis and me too. But he was with Eleanor. I had to accept he wasn’t gay…

But was I? I never fancied boys before. Always girls. And just a few days ago I really fancied Caroline. It was hard to leave her. I guess if we weren’t famous I would still be with her. But I also wouldn’t know Louis though…Well, this was really complicated.

Louis seemed a bit distant today. I wonder if I had done anything wrong… Maybe I should ask him what was up but I never did. Maybe he became suspicious if I suddenly did. I weren’t ready to confess already. Not yet… He was still with El.

I wished I could hate Eleanor. Think bad about her and just swear whenever I’d see her but I just couldn’t because I knew she hadn’t done anything bad. She just felt like I did. It was just that Louis chose her and not me. But why should he choose me?

“Are you alright, mate?“

I looked up and met Louis‘ blue eyes. I smiled even though being called “mate“ wasn’t that… you know. It’s a hurting feeling. “Sure I am, Boo“, I smiled.

He came a bit closer and my breath hitched. “I’m happy for Liam and Niall. When will they tell management and the fans?“

I froze. I haven’t thought about that. How would our fans react? Sure, Management wouldn’t like “Niam“ to be real but if it was only out once it couldn’t be stopped. They first had to tell management. “I don’t know“, I said honestly.

Louis lie his head onto my chest and my temperature creased, my blood cyclus going mad. Why was he dong so? Okay, I was overreacting. He did this very often. He was my Boo.

No, he wasn’t. He was not “my“ Boo, but he also wasn’t Eleanor’s. He was probably her Louis but he still was Jay’s Boo. I missed Jay. And Lottie, Fizz and the twins. I haven’t seen them in what feels like ages. “Did you introduce Eleanor to your family?“, I asked.

I could feel his body tense and wondered what was happening to him.

“No, not yet. Why?“

“Just wondering“, I answered and wondered what was up.

Normally his secrets didn’t mind me because he was telling me anyway but now… I would murder to know what upset him. “Are YOU alright?“, I asked.

His face turned se he faced me, his blue eyes catching mine.“Sure I am, Haz“, he smiled and I grinned.

Maybe it was just imagination but it looked like he had blushed before he looked away to face the TV screen again. Zayn entered and sat down to Louis‘ feet. His head had slippered down to my lap now. I was sitting on the sofa, Louis‘ head in my lap, his feet on the longside of the sofa.

I tried to focus on the TV not on the feeling f his head in my lap. He always was warm, even when it had less than twenty degrees. I always froze, like we were the perfect opposites…

I should stop drifting away. I felt Zayn staring at me so I turned to face him. He smiled and I smiled back at his brown eyes. His eyes moved down to Louis for a second, confused, than he faced the screen.

What the actually fuck was that?

I bit my lower lip but faced the TV again. I guess it was Bambi because I saw a fawn jumping around on ice, a bunny sliding around him gently. I smiled. I was the bunny, Louis was the fawn. Everytime I did something he wasnted to re-do it to prove himself. I loved that about him…

No, I didn’t love it! I liked it…!

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. If I wouldn’t stop feeling like this it would all turn out in a mess. “Zayn, by the way, where are Niall and Liam?“

I felt Louis chuckle in my lap and my grin just grew, now I was showing my teeth.

“Taking a walk and talking“, Zayn smiled without taking his eyes off the screen.

“Do you know when they’re about to tell management?“, Louis asked. This question seemed to stuck in his head until he’d get a proper answer.

“As I heard they wanna keep it as a secret so far… Well, except for Karen, Geoff, Nicola, Ruth, Maura, Bobby and Greg. And the three of us.“

I nodded. Karen and Geoff were Liam’s parents, Nicola and Ruth his sisters. Maura and Bobby were Niall’s parents and Greg his elder brother. I reached out my hand because I couldn’t in any other way. I began to stroke Louis‘ smooth hair and shivers ran up and down my spine. The feeling of him was overwhelming.

But I shouldn’t feel this way, normally I liked girls. I hadn’t had anything against gays or lesbians… But feeling it myself was… just odd. I know, no-one should deny any feelings… But if I wouldn’t… what would happen to Louis and me? I loved our relationship the way it was just right now. So carefree.

We could be ourselves without doubting anything. We knew we loved each other only… just as friends. And so far I could live with it.

I would lie if I said I hadn’t thought about… what it could be like. But what would my parents say? Or Gemma? What would Jay and Louis’ sisters say? Or management? Or the fans?

But, the most important, what would Louis say?

I couldn’t tell him. Not as long as he was in love with Eleanor. And she loved him back. She was so lucky.

The phone rang and I asked Zayn with just looking at him to answer it.

“Hello?“, he said as he took it and waited for an answer. He listened and smiled. “Louis, it’s for you. It’s El.“

My heart throbbed as I watched Louis as he stood up and walked over to Zayn, taking the phone. “Excuse me for a second, I need to go somewhere“, I said and put on a jokingly voice so it sounded as I had to go to the toilet.

Louis smiled at me and sighed in relief as I left.

Wow. Thanks for showing me how much you care about me, Louis.

AN: I know, it's not long... but I have to learn for my exams and tests and that stuff. I try to update as soon as possible!

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