It's Just Us

Lighting the Moon

I don't know why I'm still here,

But I do realize,

I do want to be here.

Death is something I've never been afraid of,

I use to wish it upon myself.

Until you came along,

And gave me a reason to stay here.

The moon was my only interest,

The only thing,

I could speak to,

I could look forward to.

I met my friends,

I found a new reason to stay,

I was told various things,

I was able to genuinely laugh.

I hated my laugh,

I couldn't stand my smile,

I loved seeing everyone else smile.

But never my own,

I loved everyone else's laughing,

But I couldn't stand hearing myself.

All my friends became open books,

I just became a closed one.

Once open and smiling,

To closed and afraid of what she might be.

In middle school,

I dressed as a boy,

I had short hair,

I was called various things,

Beaten and tore up,

Because of who I was.

But to them...

All those times they called me 'It'

'Look at it! So pathetic.'

'What is it?'

"What's it think it's doing sitting here? this is our seats."

"Just go die already. You weren't wanted here."

I believed every word before.

I was an it.

Now,

I'm a who,

I'm a her,

I'm a she.

I'm a human being.

Nevertheless,

They can ask for forgiveness and beg for friendship...

But the scars they left on me,

Remain,

Even to this day,

And probably,

To my ending.