It's Just Us

Looking Back There

I look back on what I've done,

All the pain I've caused,

All the friendships I've lost,

I've ruined,

I sacrificed,

I've left,

I've crushed,

The people I never got to know,

The times I sat alone,

The night's I held a knife to my heart,

Telling myself to end it,

To give up

To give the majority what they want.

All those days,

I'd hold a blade to my wrists,

Internally screaming for someone,

Anyone,

To take it away,

Let me live.

Remembering,

I had nothing,

I was nothing,

I pretended it was nothing.

And then,

I was on watch,

Told I was a threat,

To myself.

Seeing the days at school,

When the kids,

Beat me,

Told me how I was worthless,

Seeing their greedy eyes,

The intense pain they had going on,

Behind those shattered eyes.

I couldn't fight back,

I was afraid,

I was weak,

I was nobody.

Girls,

Throwing my stuff on the floor,

Stomping on it.

Cutting my papers,

Telling me how,

I should follow the paper's example,

And get cut.

Scissors were thrown at me,

In art classes,