HeartFelt Poetry| 18+

POEM #4|Never See

TRIGGER WARNING

I never see my future
Like a empty vision
With no answers
A blank canvas with
No artist

I can never see it
I always come up blank
I want a future, dont damn
Well think I don't

But for as long a I remember
My mind was a vast
Blank of white
With no creative juice
For how my future went.

I sit alone at night and
Think
I have hope and dreams
I WISH for deeply

Yer when I close my eyes
Its empty skies
I cannot find a star in sight
To grant my wish
Deep inside

I fight my demons every day
They fight to lead me astray
From the path that
Will Never end

Because I'm going no where
With these hopless dreams
Inside
Stupid wishes of a made
Up life

They said is life
Anything is possible
If you believe it
But what If i believe I'll
Never make it

What if my thoughts
Are crowded with livid
Memories of monsters
Chasing away
The good inside

I hate myself
I hate my thoughts
Yet even when it
All gets rough
There isn't a part
Of me that wants to die.

That doesn't mean
My demons hide
The crawl inside like poison
In my veins

Telling me about death
Even tho I don't want to die

I'm tired of this madness
I'm tired of this pain
But as long as I keep fighting
The monsters will never win

All I can say is I'm trying
I know its not enough
But that my life at this moment
Filled with hopless thoughts
That are never truly enough

I do have hopes and dreams
I crave a family one day
One that I never had
No a family that cares

I crave a job and home
I crave a life away from torment
I crave happiness and smiles
I wish it with all my might

I am trying to achieve it
You may not see my goals
On a piece of paper from
School, or money on a check

But if I could show you
My old and broken soul
Even though im only 18
Years old

You'd see how strong
I wish for this
All I can do is try
And one day

That'll be enough.

Written by: Teha Brown aka WILTEDROSE213