HeartFelt Poetry| 18+

POEM #17| Dear Ex, I hate you

TRIGGER WARNING

Dear Ex
You were the darkness
I let into my soul, on a cold
Winter day on a stage
With a late night kiss under
A glow in a dark sweater

In the end you became
More but I hate you
Those words could be lies
But the truth will never leave
My chapped lips

You were the lightning
I was the rain, falling hard
Together we were a storm
Destroying the world around us

You were the anger, the thick
hard mudpit of sand crawling
Through hitting me with your
Hand while I was the weak
Branch you continued to bend

You were the sun, I was too close
You burned me, my skin became
Cole under your glance but I continued
To take a stand and stay between
Your hot embrace

Your words were like knives
Peircing my wounds, the ones on
My wrist I couldn't cut myself
Yet I knew my words cut just as deep
As I never once saw a man cry
As much as your eyes had weeped

Your fist was brutal torture,
You didn't want my love but my
Love was only yours
You couldn't figure out your heart
I suffered helping you find it

Your mind followed the tails
Of woman who paid you more mind
Whose interests reflected your own
While you continued to play the game
You enslaved me in by saying you loved me

Your touch was like flames, nicking from the unlit bonfire surrounding us
as I got to close
My head egnited in a heartfelt bomb
As your lips touched my freezing lips
You were my broken abyss, you were
The drug I couldn't get fixed

You were an addiction,
controlling my brain
I was yours, I wasn't me
Your doll, you didn't want me but
I had to be perfect for you

"Just cut yourself"
your voice still whispers
I remembered those
nights of weakness
Where I couldn't shut
up the voices and you
Wanted to sleep, so
you'd hand me the blade and speak words that your cold eyes
would always agree too

I was scared, scared
of the woman you made me
But I was in love, madly in love with a part of myself you created and if was exhilarating how you felt
In my lungs, like a high I couldn't come down from

You were my world, a broken world
We created from the darkness etched in our souls
I don't need you, yet the control you have
Makes me want you

You want me but your mind is clouded
We are too distant planets crashing
Locked in our own happiness
Drawn to the darkness of choices
We cannot make

I can't love you, even if my heart
Shifts as the sound of your name
Leaving anothers lips
I cannot need you, like those late
Nights crying walking away from
Your door step
I cannot care for you, because it
Will ruin the person I am