HeartFelt Poetry| 18+

POEM #14|My Monster Uncle

TRIGGER WARNING

I shouldn't have to deal with
I shouldn't have to hide
I shouldn't have to pretend
That what you said was noise

I shouldn't be afraid, of the
Darkness hidden peak
I shouldn't loose my voice,
Or be afraid to speak

I shouldn't have delt with,
Your hands deep inside
I shouldn't have felt the touch,
Of a man who lied to me

I shouldn't have kept silent,
When you stunk into my room at night
I shouldn't have hid under the bed,
Hiding from your monster strength
Holding me down in bed

You touched me Uncle, it wasn't fair
The smell of sweat filled the air
I was scared, why did you do it
Made me look at the manhood
Of your disgusted pride

You stole my first kiss, your
Eyes filled with untainted lust
As I begged you not to touch then
My innocent sisters who
Slept peaceful in their beds

Why did you taint me, your ruined
Life for me
You gave me nightmares, I couldn't control
Forced me to play a game, I didn't understand

I was 8!
I didn't understand, why your hands
Went down to my No zone
I was 10! When your lips touched
My breast and looked at me
In no way you should have
I was 14! When you begged me
To let you inside me

But I said No! I refused
Your big hand smacked me
Leaving a bruise
My stuttering came back
My eyes filled with fear

You never touched me
Again
Why did you do it uncle?
Why did you ruin a child?

Why did you?
I shouldn't have been touched
Why did you?
I shouldn't have saw what I did
Why did you?
I should have the memories I do

I'm afraid of you uncle
I remember when I use to give
You those father day cards
You destroyed my thoughts
Ruined my life with your
Stupid touch

You ruined my life
I live everyday battling insecurities
I look in the mirror and see you
Black hands on my skin
You molested me

I kept my virginity
But you ruined me
You claimed I was yours
You polluted my mind
Saying no man would want me

You killed me, you made my
Body unwashable to the touch
I can't get the 6 years to come off
I hate you! I hate you for what you've done

I lost my childhood to your touch
I lost my sisters love protecting
Them from what you did to me
I was forced to grow in ways
I never should

Now im stuck unable to
Win from the demons you
Put inside my head
I hate the dark, it scares me

I cant sit in the front seat
Of a van or the panic overtakes me
I can't do it, you ruined it for me
I can't explain it to anybody
Why I wont sit up there

You RUINED my childhood
You RUINED my life
You RUINED my mind
You were my uncle

I looked up too you
You ruined the idea I have
Of an uncle, your nothing in my
Eyes

I was told never to wish death
Amongst people, but you deserve it
You're a monster, you live everyday
Nobody knows the pain you gave
You live your life like its gods grace

I live in fear, pretending to love you dear
Pretending to be your niece
While you call me a slut for being
A sister to my siblings

I hate you Uncle.
You ruined me.
You will die one day.

The I'll be free.

Written By: Teha Brown aka WILTEDROSE 213

YES THIS POEM IS RELATED TO EVENTS THAT HAPPENED IN MY CHILDHOOD AND THINGS I STRUGGLE WITH BECAUSE OF IT.  I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A PITY PARTY OR PEOPLE TELLING ME I SHOULD HAVE DELT WITH IT AS A CHILD.  ITS BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE THIS HAPPENED, IT ENDED WHEN I WAS 14 AND NOW I AM TRYING TO PUSH PAST IT IS BY WRITING ABOUT MY PAIN.

READ IT, VOTE AND THEN MOVE ON.

THANK YOU.