HeartFelt Poetry| 18+

Poem #25| One day

POSSIBLE TRIGGER
WARNING

I feel like I'm alone
Out of the loop, out of the goal
Not wanted or needed
Stuck in a cycle

Am I cared for? Wanted
I never truly knew the answer
I never had friends, I never had groups
Everyone who walked in, left
Leaving behind memories I couldn't
Forget

I feel like I'm slipping, loosing it
I just want somebody to rely on
That isn't my boyfriend, or family
I feel like my best friend is moving on
They have friends, they have dreams
I'm just a leach grabbing on

I feel lost in this maze, lost in a game
I can't escape the pain, the lonely abyss
I just want to feel needed but everyone
Is moving on, they have plans
I am so far down, on the ladder called life
They deserves somebody better

I want to be the best friend
But I feel like 4th best, somebody
Whose there when nobody else cares
One sides hopes, my heart seems to weep
Maybe I'm not needed anymore

They say sometimes people drift
Well they are  drifting away, I'm hurt
years of friendship, I must say goodbye
I don't feel ready for it too end
Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion

People get busy right? People have lives
They get busy, they forget
Time goes by faster and they move on
Messages get missed, names get lost
You meet new people, make more friends

I wish I could have that, I wish people liked me
I wish I could keep friends, I wish people wanted me
I wish I could have friendship's as strong as steal
But I always fail, I'm too different

I can't heal, I'm wounded from this battle I'm fighting inside of my mind
I can't win this game playing inside of my heart
I shouldn't be like this, I shouldn't be this far behind

Yet I can never get ahead, I'm not made for this life
I'm not made for societies games or mysteries I cannot solve
I'm socially awkward, no matter how many followers I make

I don't talk to people, I block then out
I don't make friends, I try but they don't like me
I am not the girl you accept, I'm not the girl you want around
Yet I'm smart, and I love to read books

Yet not many even know my name
I want to have friends, I want to have people I can shop with
I want to have sleep overs and talk about things I can't keep in my head
But I ain't that girl

You don't invite me those things
Nobody wants me around
My Brain is sick and twisted
Nobody ever cares, they smile and pretend I wasn't there

I'm easy to forget, nobody remembers
People I grew to love left, people I thought would be by my side forever
Walked away without a trace.

I thought I was important
I tried to change, I tried to be somebody
Everyone wanted, everyone cared for
But I'm the loner in the shadows
You chose to ignore.

I can't make friends, I can't talk to people
I don't share secrets, or pasts
I don't have sleep overs, or go shopping
I don't have those qualities

Soon I won't have nobody
Soon I won't have any friends
One day they won't need me
Then it will end.

Written By: Teha Brown aka WILTEDROSE213
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