Brighter days [jalex]

He knew your past

Me and Kellin left the bathroom and got a few weird looks. Nobody would have heard anything because I made sure we was quiet, people probably heard my sobbing earlier though. That's why they are staring. I went off to find Jack. I'm not sure if I'm going to tell him yet. Probably not. He's already frustrated and annoyed at me all the time so it's only a matter of time before he breaks up with me anyway.

"What did you do." I hear Rian whisper in my ear, "Your hairs all messed up."

"Nothing."

"Alex." I turn around to face him, "You really fucked this up didn't you."

"I don't even care." I laugh.

"Care about what?" Vic asked walking over to us.

Rian looked around before saying in a low voice, "I think Alex cheated on Jack."

"Oh well." I laugh dramatically taking Rians cup out his hand and draining it.

"You shouldn't drink when you're like this." Vic let me take his drink, "I'm getting Jack to bring you home. We aren't going to tell him anything but I think you should."

I shrug going off to find more alcohol but Rian grabs my wrist to stop me walking off. Vic disappeared to find Jack and returned with him shortly after. Jack was holding a red cup and grinning at me. When he got close to me he kissed me on the cheek. I took the cup out his hand and downed it.

"That was mine." Jack laughed taking it off of me and realising I already drank it all, "Let's go home."

"Let's go."

~~

I wake up in Jacks arms with a headache and a distinct memory of Kellin riding me in his bathroom. Fuck. Am I going to tell him? I need to tell him. Fuck. I ruined my relationship. I actually ruined a relationship I wanted. I need to tell him.

"Jack." I shake him awake tears falling down my face, "Jack I need to talk to you."

"What?" Jack yawned.

"Promise you will let my finish."

"Yeah sure." Jack rubbed his eyes and sat up, "What is it."

"I cheated on you last night." I admit, "After you said you loved me I got scared and run off cry."

"You cheated?" Jack asked confused.

"Kellin came to see if I was okay and I kissed him." I continued, "Then he rode me in the bathroom. It wasn't his fault I came onto him so don't blame him."

"You said you would never hurt me." Jacks voice was void of all emotions.

"I'm sorry." I wipe my eyes before tears start to fall, I shouldn't be the one who's crying right now, I was the cheat, I'm always the cheat and the fuck up, "I was scared and drunk. I know that's no excuse and I don't expect you to forgive me but I'm begging you for forgiveness."

"Why did you tell me?"

"Because you needed to know."

"Who else knows?" Jack was refusing to look at me.

"Rian and Vic. They said they wouldn't tell you and they didn't even know for a fact they just assumed I did. Well Rian assumed and told Vic."

"Get out."

"I'm sorry..." I start.

"Get out." Jack interrupted, "Get out my bed."

"I'm assuming you're breaking up with me." I say getting out the bed.

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry Jack." I say as I'm leaving, "I never deserved you."

"No. You didn't." I heard Jack say with hatred in his voice as I shut his door and walk into my own room.

"Fuck." I cry into my pillow, I always fuck things up for me.

My hands shake as I search for my phone and realise I left it in Jacks room. I don't want to go back in and annoy him even more than I already have but I need to talk to Rian. I lay down on my bed crying. After two minuets or two hours I hear the door bell ring. I get up, wipe my face and open it to find a angry looking Zack.

"I'm going to comfort Jack." Zack said.

"I left my phone in there and don't want to piss him off anymore so would you get it please?" I ask, "Look Zack I was drunk and scared and that don't make it right..."

"I'll get your phone and that's it." Zack said, "I don't want to hear it."

"Thanks." I mutter walking back to my room and throwing myself on my bed, "I want to die."

I feel my phone hit my back and I roll over to see Jack, Zack was standing not far behind him, "So you can call your fuck buddies."

I go to correct him but instead just leave it. I don't want to upset him anymore than I already have. He don't deserve that. I've already done enough and me correcting him isn't going to help that.

"Sorry." Is all I managed to say to him.

"You fuck yourself." Jack spat, "Actually go fuck Kellin you seem to like that or Vic. I'm sure you slept with him the other night as well."

"I didn't." I correct.

"Jack let's go." Zack said guiding Jack out my room and shutting my door.

I unlock my phone and call Rian.

"Hey Jack." Rian said sounding too happy for the night after the party.

"I told Jack." I cry, "I fucked up my relationship."

"Well that's what happens when your emotionally neglected as a child." Rian said, "You're turned off when people actually love you and if things go too well then you fuck things up."

"I know." I say, "How does me fucking up my relationship connect to me being ignored as a kid?"

"Because you like familiarity of it."

I sit thinking about if for a second before agreeing, "That makes sense."

"So what do I do to fix it?" I ask.

"No idea." Rian said, "I never cheated and had to prove to them I want them back and it was a mistake."

"Neither have I."

"You've cheated how many times?" Rian asked.

"Like fifteen."

"And Jack knew that. Jack knew what he was doing getting in a relationship with you." Rian said over the phone, "He knows the sort of person you are. He knew your past and still decided to give you a chance. He knew it wasn't going to be sunshine and Daisy's. I mean you're still a dickhead for cheating but he knew it was going to happen."

"I promised him that I wouldn't hurt him and I did." I start crying again, "I have no chance at fixing this do I?"

"I don't know."

Authors note

Here you go. I've been woken up by screaming so fml.

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻