Brighter days [jalex]

He's a romantic

I was humming, buttering toast when Jack comes up behind me and starts kissing my neck.

"Morning." I smile dropping the butter knife out of shock.

"Why are you up so early?" Jack asked wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I was going to go ask for tutoring with Rian."

"I'll tutor you." I then around in Jacks arms, "I think I'll be really really good it at."

"Really?" I laugh, "I'll be too distracted by how much I want to kiss you to pay attention.

"I really do love you Alex."

I attempt to squirm out this arms. The dreaded L word, the word that got me in this mess. That word scares me. Jack knows this.

"Jack." I say as I manage to escape.

"What's so scary about the word?" Jack asked.

"I just don't like it." I shrug, "Sure I may have admitted I loved you but I'd rather show it in other ways than saying I love you."

"Are you going to buy me roses or something?"

"If you want me to buy you roses I'll buy you roses and even google a sappy poem to steal because I can't do that shit." Jack pulls me back into his arms.

"I'll write you emo poetry."

"I would love that." I pull Jack closer to me for a kiss, "I mean I can worship your body to show you how much I love you if you want. It's what I'm good at."

"Not now." Jack says between little pecks, "After the roses and the poetry."

"I'll light a candle."

"Such a romantic." Jack laughs, "I want a scented one."

"I'll make that happen." Jack kisses my nose and I laugh, "Anything for you."

Me and Jack where smiling in each other's arms when their was a loud knock at the door. Jack let's me go and steals my toast of the counter grinning as he took a bite. When I open door Rian was standing their.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

"One second." I go take my half eaten toast off Jack, "See you in class."

"I still think I should tutor you."

"If tutoring is you sucking me off every question I get right then I think you should as well."

"You can fuck later." Rian rolled his eyes, "Come on we're going to be late."

"I'm coming." Rian looked at me weirdly as I closed the door, "What?"

"Somethings bugging you." Rian said, "Are you still against love?"

"I'm against throwing the word about." I tell him, "It's a scary word."

"Let's guess." It was only 8 in the morning so the halls where not super busy but there was still a few other people entering and leaving rooms, "Jack said it again today."

"Yeah." I shrug.

"He's a romantic."

"I can be to." I protest.

It's not a lie. If I wanted to I could show Jack how much I care and appreciate him in another  way. I just think if you say I love you too much it becomes over used and looses its meaning. That and it's scary. It makes you think of the future and the unknown. I don't want to think of the future, I just want to live in the moment. Right now isn't scary so I'm happy. If I just look at the short term it's not as scary. Same with love, if you don't think about your future with it in mind it's not as scary.

"Go be romantic then." Rian said, "But not right now because I don't want you making me late."

"I kinda wanna stay with Jack now." I admit, "Maybe he can tutor me so I don't have to wake up early."

"Do what you want but you asked me to knock for you today."

"I know. I know." I trail off thinking, "I always ask for it and never happy with what I get."

"Are you talking about your relationship again?" Rian asked and I just shrug not knowing what I'm feeling.

I have Jack back and that's all I wanted but now if I have to deal with him saying he loves me every day I don't think I would be able to cope. I may love him but I don't like the word. I find saying it holds more weight than showing it. I think saying it should be saved for when you really mean it more than normal. In a special moment to make it even better. If it's thrown around it can easily become a chore.

Authors note

I decided to mix a energy drink and sleeping pills last night. Now I feel sleepy and not sleepy at the same time. It's weird. Anyways comment and shit. I'm on the bus right now and I'm so cold.

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻