Brighter days [jalex]

Don't fuck it up this time

Ben decided to throw a New Years party so a bunch of people decided to come back to the dorms a few days early. The others either decided not to go or are traveling from there respective family homes if they was close enough.

"Are you going Bens?" Jack asked.

Since I cane back from Christmas at my family's things have been weird between us. Jacks been perfectly nice to me but he refused to let anything go further than friends. Every time I try to talk about us he changes the subject or ignores me.

"No." I mutter, I know Rians going to be there as well as most my other friends but I don't really think that seeing them would help the mood I've got myself stuck in.

"I'm going." Jack said expecting me to change my mind.

"Okay." I pour myself a glass of juice, "Bring your keys i'm probably going to sleep."

"Come with me." Jack said as I took a sip of my apple juice.

"What?" I ask in disbelief.

"We're going to that party." Jack said as I raised my eyebrow at him, "Jesus Alex I want you to go that party with me."

"I wasn't going to go because last time I was at a party I fucked this all up."

"Well there's no relationship for you to fuck up now so get your ass to this party with me." Jack said not realising the comment about there being no relationship to fuck up hurt me.

"I still don't want to go because I'll probably end up doing something else dumb."

"I'm not going to give you another chance because you decided to not go a party." Jack said, "So go out, have fun and get laid. Start the new year off with a bang."

"Is that what you're going to do?" I ask getting more upset with every sentence he said, not that I was showing it.

"No." He said and that made me feel better before deciding to add in a slightly more hateful tone, "I'm not into casual fucks like you."

I'm not sure if it was supposed to be hateful. Maybe I was perceiving it wrong but it felt hateful.

"I'm not sure if I want to go Jack." I sigh, "I don't feel like partying."

Jack rolled his eyes at me and walked off muttering under his breath.

"What did you say?" I ask.

"I said that boring Alex isn't the Alex I feel for so it's not going to be the one who wins me back." Jack said before walking into his room, "I'm leaving in a hour so get ready."

I walk back to my room in anger. I'm not boring. I don't get why Jack wants me to go to the party anyway. He's probably going to kiss someone else at midnight to make me jealous and realise I love him or something. That's what he wants isn't it. He wants me to tell him I love him but I won't. I don't know if I love him and I won't lie to him. I throw myself down on the bed. I guess I'm going this party.

I don't do anything to get ready other than throw on a grey beanie to avoid doing my hair. Jack walks in my room as I'm tying up my laces.

"Hurry up." Jack says standing in the doorway.

"Sorry." I mutter scratching at my arm, "Let's go."

I check my face in the mirror and see it's not too red and puffy from the crying I've been doing, I wouldn't leave the house if it was. My hands shake as I pick up my keys and shove them in my pocket. Jack could tell I wasn't happy with going to this party but he didn't care. What's his plan here?

Me and Jack awkwardly walk to Bens, he don't want to pay for a Uber when we have a 'perfectly good pair of legs.' When we get to Bens house I disappear to find alcohol to make me feel better about being here. Jack don't follow. When I'm in the kitchen downing my third beer Rian spots me.

"Apparently you showed up with Jack." Rian said I hunted for s stronger drink, "So what's with you two?"

"I think he wants me to tell him I love him." I say as I find a bottle of whisky.

"Do you?"

"I don't know." I shrug taking a sip letting it burn the back of my throat, "How would I know?"

"Do you enjoy sleeping with him?" Rian asked.

"We never slept together." I told me, "But yes I enjoy getting him off."

"Okay." Rian thought for a second, "Do you enjoy kissing him?"

"Yes."

"Do you enjoy spending time with him?"

"Yes."

"Do you miss him?"

"Yes." I say wondering where this conversation is going.

"Okay. Would you do anything to have him back?" Rian took the whisky out my hand and took a sip himself.

"Yes."

"Well you're in love with him." Rian shrugged before handing me back the bottle, "Now go tell him and win him back."

"But is it love?" I ask, "I never done long term relationships before and I think I want one with Jack but what if I fuck up again. What if I get scared and loose him again. How would I get him back anyway?"

"You're Alex Gaskarth. You get straight guys in your bed" Rian laughed, "You are in love with Jack Barakat and you can fix this."

"How?"

"Work that out yourself."

I turnt around with my drink considering Rian wasn't being much help other than helping me realise what I'm feeling for Jack is love. The first thing I saw when I turnt around was Jack drinking and smiling. Did he hear all of that?

"Hi Alex." He smiled, he definitely heard all of it, "You have anything to say?"

"You heard." I take a long drink.

"Say it."

"I love you." I breath out after another sip, Jack doesn't say anything and I don't think that I'll be able to say that again,"Please give me another chance."

"10, 9, 8, 7." The countdown started around us.

"Please say something." I ask Jack who just stands painfully close to me, I let my hand brush his face and he doesn't push me away like I expected him to.

"5, 4, 3, 2."

As the clock struck midnight and everyone was cheering or kissing Jack pushed me up against the counter and started attacking my lips with his. I let him take control as he deserved it and just wrapped my arms around his pulling him in as close as possible. The kiss was rough and passionate only for us to break apart for air.

"Don't fuck it up this time." Jack said before going off to talk to Kellin, I'm happy he didn't blame him and they seem to be getting on pretty well.

"Told you." Rian smiled at me.

"You knew he was behind me the whole time?" I ask.

"No shit." Rian laughed, "I fixed your relationship for you. You're welcome."

"You're the best friend I could ever ask for." I exclaim pulling Rian into a tight hug, "You are amazing."

"I know."

Authors note

A few chapters and this is over! I finished writing everything yesterday. So I'm writing a merrikat book again next. It's out now. Follow me so you know when I post. I follow back unless I don't see it. Sometimes my notifications get flooded with votes on my old stuff. Anyway I'll probably be posting some more jalex in the future.

Give me comments to respond to I can't sleep.

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻