Lucid Dreaming

8

"I'm excited to meet, Ethan finally." My mom grinned at me while stirring the mashed potatoes.

"I'm excited too, cause now you'll finally believe me." I jokingly rolled my eyes.

She let out a sigh, "I want to believe you Gabby. It just seems so unreal."

"Well it's real." I got a little frustrated.

My mom stopped talking and started putting food onto the plates. Chicken, mashed potatoes, veggies and bread. This looks so good.

I looked down at my phone and noticed it was 7:38. He's eight minutes late. I shook it off, not really being a big deal.

We set the plates down at the tables, along with our bodies. It was a long awkward silence as we waited for the doorbell to ring.

My mom cleared her throat, "What time is it?"
"7:51." I began biting my lip nervously.
I pulled out my phone and texted him.

me: where are you??
hello?
ethan my mom thinks I'm crazy
hurry up
tell me you didn't forget
fuck

"Well I'm gonna start eating before it gets cold." My mom started digging into her food.
"9:05." I scoffed. He blew me off.

My mom chewed slowly, putting down her fork. "Honey..."

"No." I cut her off. "I don't wanna hear it." I got up from the table and slammed my bedroom door.

__the next morning__

I woke up to my phone vibrating, it was Ethan.
"What." I plainly spoke.
"Hi." His voice was shaky.
"Hi?" I answered rudely. "Make it fast I'm not in the mood for you."

"I um- I'm sorry." He apologized.
"You're sorry?" I scoffed. "Haha. Okay." I hung up.

I was honestly so hurt at the moment and I had nothing to turn that into besides bitchiness. I went down stairs noticing my mom wasn't home. Thank god, I'm honestly so tired of people in general...

I laid onto the fluffy couch and watched a Disney movie.
Three knocks on my front door caused my heart to jump. "Jesus" I mumbled holding my hand over my heart.

I got up and looked through the peep hole, Ethan.
I backed away from the door trying to be quiet.
"Gabby come on. I know you're in there." His raspy voice begged.

I still didn't move; stayed still.
"Gabby please."
Me with the huge heart I have, I gave in. I don't like seeing the love of my life in pain.
I opened the front door and his head shot up. "Gabby." He mumbled.

"What do you need?" I rested my hand on the door.
"Can we please talk? I can explain everything." He was being honest.
"You said that last time and ended up doing it again." I rolled my eyes.
"No. Like actually everything. I'm ready to tell you." He stared me dead in the eye and wouldn't break his stare.

I let out a huff, then moved my arm into my house signaling him to come inside.
He walked in and we both sat onto the couch, next to each other.

"So, what's up?" I rubbed my hands together.
"I don't know how you're gonna feel after you hear this, but you deserve the truth." Nervousness filled his face becoming a permanent expression.

"Okay..." I was scared as for what he was about to tell me.

"When I started lucid dreaming, I told my mom about you. Everything about you." He started. Those words caused a small smile to appear on my face.

"When I told her how inlove with you I was, she became furious with the idea of lucid dreaming. She wanted me to have a real relationship, not a fantasy." He looked down.

I put my hand onto his thigh, rubbing my thumb back and forth.

"She tried to get me to stop, but I wouldn't. She started to hurt me physically. She would threaten me that if I dreamt, there would be a consequence. AKA, my dad." His voice was getting shaky.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, my poor baby. My heart sank to the bottom of my feet, my jaw dropped a little as I stared at him. "Ethan..." I moved my hand onto his hand.

"No that's not even the worst part." He cut me off. "I kept doing it because I needed to see you. You became my only happy place. My dad started to punch me, kick me, spit on me..." he trailed off. "Burn me...." he lifted his shirt and I couldn't believe my eyes. He had cigarette burns all over his chest.

"Ethan!" I covered my mouth as tears flashed over my eyes. My finger tip trailed over the deep red circles that had become scars.

He put his shirt back down. "I became so scared of everything because of the abuse that I stopped talking to my friends. Scared they'd call me a pussy. Honestly, scared of any physical contact." A tear slipped from his eye falling onto his joggers.

He sniffed, catching a breath then looking back up at me. "You're the only person I know wouldn't hurt me, Gabby. I knew you would never hurt me. That's why I've been so scared to meet people. I haven't come in contact with a person in forever... only you." He forced a smile onto his face.

"Ethan, I- im so sorry." I stuttered. My arms wrapped around his neck as I cried into his sweatshirt. His arms wrapped around my waist fast, his breathing was heavy. He was forcing himself not to cry.

"I love you so much." I whisper.
"I love you too." His soft voice cracked.

I feel awful.

___

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