Lucid Dreaming

17

I removed the blade from my wrist, getting quiet as I sat and listened. Nothing, no sound. What the fuck was that?

I placed the blade on the counter as I got out of the bath still listening for a noise.

Opening the bathroom door slowly, I peaked my head out down the hallway to see if anyone was here.

My house was empty. I slowly and quietly walked down the hallway, looking into each room.

Maybe Ethan got back early, shit. His bedroom door was cracked open, causing me to peak through it.

My entire heart stopped. I felt me wanting to choke on air. No.

I swung the door open and Ethan's eyes got wider than I've ever seen them go.

Before I could speak and clicked back the gun then resting his finger on he trigger. "Come near me and I swear I'll do it." He warned me.

Tears filled my eyes, "Ethan what the fuck are you doing!" I screamed.

"Letting you live Gabby. I have nothing else to explain." He closed his eyes.

"No!" I screamed as my heart was about to get torn out. "Where did you get that gun!" I cried putting my hands to my mouth.

He didn't answer me, he looked down my body, stopping at my wrist.

"Your wrist." He paused lowering the gun.
I looked down at my wrist then back up to him.

"You can't die." He quickly raised the gun back up to his head causing my heart to jump.
He looked up at me, with his beautiful brown eyes sparkling. A small smile fell onto his face as a tear slipped from his eye. "Don't forget me."

My heart dropped as I knew he was about to pull the trigger, I screamed and yelled for him as I ran to him but it was too late, he pulled the trigger.

I ran to him, as his lifeless body fell to the floor, I took him into my hands. "No! No! No! No! No!" I cried.

I took his head into my hands placing it on my lap, "Ethan please." I sobbed.

I got out my phone calling 911.

"Hi," I sobbed. "My boyfriend, he killed himself please come help I don't know if he's breathing!"

"Okay ma'am, calm down, we will send an ambulance okay?" He spoke calmly.

"Hurry!" I screamed resting my forehead onto Ethan's.

I hung up on them as I cried. My heart felt like it was non-existent. It felt like a black hole.

A couple minutes passed and I heard the ambulance open the front door, barging into the room.

"Okay we have to lift him." They lifted Ethan's body and put it onto a stretcher. "Be careful!" I sobbed.

"I've still got a pulse, hardly anything." One of the men yelled as they ran with him outside.

I got into the back seat with him as they started CPR while the car drove to the hospital.

So many beeping noises, so many screams, so much heat. I felt like I was gonna die. Ethan's the love of my life, he can't be gone.

I tired to calm down my breathing but it wouldn't work.

"Ethan I need you to stay with me." The paramedic grabbed his face.

Ethan's eyes were less then a centimeter open but enough for me to see his beautiful hazel eyes. The blood falling down his face made me sick to my stomach.

I held onto his hand, his soft, warm hand.

"Alright lets move." The back door swung open as they strolled him out of the car and down the long hall way.

I ran with the stretcher, staying with him the whole time. "Ethan please." I cried.

"Ma'am we are gonna need you to wait out here." A nurse held me back as they shut doors in front of me.

"What? No!" I started to panic. "He's my boyfriend please!" I screamed.

"Please wait in the waiting room! We will let you know." She kindly told me.

I walked into the waiting room, mad at could be. I sat in a chair and dug my face into my hands. Why? This was supposed to be me! Not him! Ethan doesn't deserve to die, I do. He has never done anything wrong.

I decided to call my mom and I told her what had happen and that she should come to the hospital.

When my mom arrived, she pulled me into an immediate hug. "Oh my god honey." Her voice cracked. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"What if he doesn't live mom? What's gonna happen?" Another tear slipped from my eye.

She didn't say anything, she just kept hugging me.

"Come on lets sit down." We sat onto a chair and she wrapped her arms around me as I cried leaning my head onto her shoulder.

My sobs weren't stopping, they just kept flowing and flowing along with the tears.

Something hit me. It hit me hard. It felt like when someone waxes your leg, you pull the strip off and it hurts at first but then your stress relieves because it's over.

My sobs stopped suddenly, it felt like something was missing but I couldn't put my tongue on it. I leaned off of my mom. I could feel how stiff my face was from the dried tears laying on my skin.

My mom rubbed my back slowly as I soon grew to be confused. "You okay?" My mom asked concerned.

"Um yeah." I blankly said. "Mom?" I asked her.
"Yes." She answered.
"What, what are we doing here?"

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