Lucid Dreaming

21

He stood there looking at me. In shock I had full realization that he was truly standing in front of me right now.
I couldn't speak. I tried to, but I couldn't.

His eyes were still glossy as he looked at me as if I were the most prized possession on this entire earth.

"I love you." He mouthed to me without words coming out of his mouth.
His back turned to me as he walked out of the bedroom door.

"No..." I finally spoke. I jumped off the bed to follow him, but when I opened the door, he was gone. I went downstairs trying to spot him but he was no where to be seen.

"Gabby!" Meg wrapped her arm around my neck.
"Hi." I pushed my neck up to look over the tall crowd of people.
"Where did you run off to?" She slurred.
Getting annoyed, I pushed her arm off of me. "I need to leave."
"Shit, what's gotten into you?" She narrowed her eyebrows getting sassy.

"I'll explain when you're not drunk." I pushed her out of my way and headed for the front door. Yes, I was still a little drunk but after seeing Ethan, I sobered up a bunch.

I drove myself back to my house. Once I got to my room and I put on some black joggers and a comfy t-shirt crop top and twirled my hair into a bun.

Did I really see Ethan tonight? How? He's... dead? But that was him, he said he loved me. Where did he go? Wait...

I then started to realize everything. All the puzzle pieces were being put together perfectly.

I started pacing back and forth. "Ethan and I loved each other, and when he died for me, I forgot him. That doesn't mean he still doesn't love me.
Last night, I heard someone say my name but no one was there, I got a text telling me to sleep from an unknown number?
Tonight, he helped me from Garrett.... then he said he loved me. Maybe he finally found enough anger or energy to get through to me." My heart began to flutter just by thinking about how a person could love me this much.

"You're right."

I jumped almost having a heart attack at the sound of a voice. My head shot towards my door frame and there he stood.
His hands were in the pockets of his joggers.

He looked different than he did on the death bed in the hospital.

He was more glowing now. His eyes were glowing, his cheeks were glowing. I don't even know how to describe it. He was just perfect.

"Ethan..." my voice was at a loss for words.

"Hi beautiful." He leaned off of the door frame.

"H-how?" I was so frightened. I'm looking at a ghost? Angel? Either way he's dead. But, something about him made me less scared. I couldn't put my tongue on it.

"Honestly, I don't even know how I'm here. I guess you figuring everything out gave me energy." His sweet voice got louder as he walked closer to me.

Soon he was standing only a foot away from me. his hand rested onto my jaw. I was speechless again. I couldn't stop staring at how pretty he was. His hazel glossy eyes looked down into mine as his cheekbones smiled.

"I missed you so much." His voice cracked.

My heart immediately broke-I don't remember him.

I let out a sigh, pulling him hands off of my face gently. "Ethan..." I broke eye contact with him.

"I know. I know you don't remember me. I just, I need this." He let out a huff of air.

I nodded understanding.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked.
"Of course." His eyebrows lifted.

"Usually id be terrified out of my mind by this point, but I'm not. You give me this feeling of safety. And I can feel it so deep down that I love you. It's like I still feel everything I used to feel when I look at you, but I don't remember it and... it kills some of those feelings." I looked away from him.

"Hey," he lifted my chin with his pointer finger. "I wanted this. I chose to die for you. I wanted you to get a chance to start over and not remember me, you deserve to live your life with no grief okay?"

I nodded my head. "Ethan," I sighed again. "You're so amazing. Like I don't even know you and I know you're the kindest most genuine person I've ever met." I told him.

The corner of his mouth curved upwards.
"Thank you, Gabby."

I leaned in slowly, leaving a kiss on his cheek. As I pulled away I stayed only a couple of inches away from his face. His eyes looked into mine, then down at my lips.

I could feel my whole body start getting nervous. We both closed our eyes starting to slowly lean in.

"I can't." I pulled away before we could connect our lips.

He cleared his throat. "It's okay. I understand."

"I just- I don't remember." I started.
"Gabby," He chuckled, "I understand."

"No, you didn't let me finish." I made eye contact with him.

I held onto his hands, his soft warm hands. "I can't kiss you because I don't want to be disappointed. I know that one day I'm gonna remember you and I'm scared that if I do it while I don't remember you, I'll be let down."

"I know you'll remember one day, it's just your choice to do it or not." He smiled down at me.

"What do you mean my choice?" I raised my eyebrow confused.

He started walking towards my door slowly, "it was what you craved most."

I sat there confused, trying to think about what he was talking about.

"I'll make sure you're the one to do it and not me, that way it's your choice." He smiled before shutting my door.

I knew he was gone after that.

My choice? It's my choice to choose whether I remember him or not? He knows how to redeemed my memory?

"Something I always craved." I mumbled to myself.

"He'll make sure its my choice?" What is he talking about?

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