Lucid Dreaming

22

Days. It's been days since I've seen Ethan. I don't know what it is but something deep inside me is craving him. I know it's in my heart deep down.

"It's something you've always craved." I play those words over and over in my head all the time.

I am so clueless. How do I not know what I crave?

The more mysterious it gets and the longer I am without him the more and more anxious I get. I do want to remember him, I do. Knowing I loved someone that deeply and seeing how he looked at talked to me last week, I need to remember a love like him.

"Wanna watch a movie?" My mom broke me from my thoughts.
I blinked a couple of times, "Yeah."
She tilted her head giving me a look filled with sorrow. "I know you want to see him again, Gabby."

I let out a sigh and looked down, "Yeah I do."

She walked over to me and placed her hand on my back; rubbing it up and down. "He will come back eventually."

"I need him now. It's like this inner part of me just needs him and I don't know why." I pushed myself off the counter getting frustrated.

My mom chuckled lightly, "honey you need to realize how blessed you are."

I raised my eyebrow at her.
"You're seeing your dead ex boyfriend for Christ sakes! If I could see your dad all the time... I would." Her voice lowered.

"I'm sorry mom. I just wish I could remember him." I admit.
"You will, it will come agai-" she started but I cute her off.
"How do you know?" I questioned.

"Don't interrupt me. I was gonna say-" My mom kept talking but then it all hit me.

My mouth dropped as my eyes became wide, "interrupt." I mumbled to myself.

"What?" My mom asked confused.

"Interrupt." I looked up at her; a smile curving at the side of my lips.
She still looked at me confused.
"Interrupt that's it!" I jumped off my feet getting excited.

"Gabby what are you talking about?"

"Something I craved mom! Ethan and I were always interrupted before we would kiss! That was his hint! Something I craved!" All the pieces were getting put together.

If I kiss Ethan, I'm going to remember him.

"How is that possible?" My mom was beyond confused by this point.

"I guess it would just bring memories back. I've always been a sucker for kissing so maybe that was what I loved most about him." I couldn't stop smiling. I needed to see him.

____

"Can I have the popcorn?" I pointed to the bowl that was in my moms lap.

I couldn't pay attention to this movie, every part of me just wanted to talk to Ethan, but how do I make him show up?

I tried to refocus by eating popcorn but it wasn't working.

"I need to go to the bathroom." I got up and walked down our long dark hallway then into the bathroom. I finished up by washing my hands and looking at myself in the mirror.

I turned the light off then twisted the handle, opening the door.

"Hi." A deep voice spoke making me jump.

I looked up and my heart was beating faster than it ever has before, "hi." My eyes glowed at the sight of him.

Even in a dark hallway, his skin was lightly glowing along with his eyes and everything about him was so perfect.

"I've been waiting for you for so long." I walked closer to him.

"I know." He quietly spoke so my mom couldn't hear us. "I waited for you to figure out my hint. Cause then I'd know if you ever wanted to see me again or not." He smiled looking down to his feet.

"I need to remember you. These feeling i get when I'm around you, I can't deal with it anymore. Not remembering you but having the feeling of love inside of me is driving me insane." I held my hands to my forehead.

"Hey," he grabbed onto my cheek. "I'm here now." His light eyes gleamed into mine giving me chills.

I felt myself pause, as I slowly started to lean in, as did he.

"Wait," he stopped us, "Are you sure this is what you want? Once you remember me... it's not like I'm gonna be alive."

I smiled without responding, I slowly leaned in and kissed his soft lips. I felt my stomach start swarming with butterflies and my lips became tingly and warm. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. Then it all hit me at once, this is the love of my life.

I kissed his warm plump lips one more time then we departed.

I held my hands around his neck as I stared into his eyes.

I felt my eyes start watering as I was about to cry.

His precious brown eyes that I missed so much, the eyes that loved me through everything, stared down into mine. "So, what do you feel?"

"Everything." My voice cracked as I looked up into his eyes. "I feel everything. The love, the heartbreak, the grief, the guilt, everything." A tear fell from my eye.

I remember everything.

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