Both Monsters (Loki X Reader)

13. The Battle of Love

Y/N's POV:

What?

Fist pausing inches from Loki's face as he spluttered a string of weak words. His eyes fluttering shut and head falling back, pressed firmly to the ground. A harsh bark erupted from your throat, fingers trembling slightly.

Love? He didn't mean it. How was this love? Dishonesty, betrayal and blood. I mean I was never one for flowers and chocolates, or a cheesy rom-com declaration, but I still had an idea of what it meant. To love someone was to trust them, willing to make sacrifices, staying loyal. This was not love. A pang of regret stabbed somewhere in my stomach, as if I already knew that I was lying to myself.

Growling through gritted teeth, it took a moment to realign the blade prisisley against Loki's neck; taking a breath before applying more pressure. What's another skeleton in the closet? He's not just another skeleton though, is he? No one would know. You'd know. I found this low life in the prison among all the other scum. Nobody would care... You'd care. No. Just another job. Or is he... No! He's not! But he said that he loved me. He was lying, idiot! Lips quivering more, but I lo... No, stupid neive girl.

Lightning flashed overhead, bringing the lashings of rain from the heavens. Bloody rivers turning and twisting across the roof. Absentmindedly lifting a shaking hand and brushing some of the rogue strands of hair that had been clinging to Loki's face; rain dampening his features. Catching the overly sweet gesture after a moment, and forcefully looking away. It was never this hard before. You've grown weak.

I was running out of time. Just do it, finally prove to me you aren't pathetic. That you aren't still a silly, little girl. A frightened Bunny. Snapping my head away from the ghost's taunts, my body trembling violently with anticipation.

"I'm not WEAK!" the shriek ripping out from your throat, bouncing across the rooftop; slamming a hand to your temple. Anything to stop you from hearing her voice. Panting breaths left your mouth, as you ran a hand through your soaked hair; hood long fallen back in the midst of the fight.

Distorted voices echoed somewhere in the distance, turning to white noise as they got whisked up into the raging wind. Do it! It's now or never! I'll go away forever if you just do it... Knife gripped tightly, turning each of your knuckles white, as I began lifting it up and across my body; ready to make one final slash. That's all it needed to be. A single cut. Breath in, and then slowly out. Now! Sharply snapping my arm back down towards Loki's neck, with a choked cry.

From out of nowhere my body was roughly thrown sideways, harshly colliding with the concrete; head cracking against the ground. Then skidding towards me came my knife, stopping just out of reach. Only it was no longer clean... Crimson coated the sharp edge, staining the ground.

Before I knew it adrenaline was pumping through my veins as I forced my body up off the ground, sprinting back towards Loki. Tears uncontrollably streaming down my cheeks; mixing with the rain and blood. Collapsing back beside his body as my hands began searching desperately for where the knife had sliced his skin. Eventually landing on a near perfect line across his cheek bone, which had luckily stopped just before his eye. It didn't appear too deep and would more than likely fade over time. A sigh of relief wracked through my body, pressing a light hand to his cheek. Resting your forehead on his chest, along with your other hand, allowing the shaky breaths to fall from your lips.

"Step away from my Brother." Finally a voice you recognised, though not entirely a welcomed one. A figure loomed over you, ignoring his presence for a moment before removing your hands and lifting up your head.

"He's fine. No harm done."

"You've broken his nose." Thor's voice was loud but far from angry or hostile.

"A technicality." you shrugged, rising weakly to your feet "Besides he deserved it." you mumbled. More to yourself than anything, when an unexpected, brash laugh roared above you. Making you flinch slightly, you allowed yourself to peek up to see Thor towering over you, just as Loki had done before.

"I don't doubt that." Thor hummed, shaking his head slightly "My Brother has always had a way of digging himself into the ground. Making rash decisions, against his better judgement." Using his foot he nudged Loki's unconscious body, almost not willing to believe he was out cold. Once satisfied he wasn't going to suddenly wake he bent down and scooped his brother into his arms. "Now, if I'm not mistaken we were in the middle of an agreement. Come, I believe there is much paperwork to be signed." Thor mused making his way towards the exit. I remained still, stunned for a moment.

"Why aren't you angry?" Thor stopped, pausing before glancing back over his shoulder, indicating for an elaboration "I attacked your Father, escaped prison, attacked your friend, and now your Brother." you began listing your offences off on your fingers. "I can confidently say most would have killed me on the spot." Thor nodded, seemingly weighing up his options for a moment.

"Perhaps." He agreed before continuing "Family has always been my priority, Loki especially. He seems fond of you, maybe more than that." You tutted in disbelief, Thor watching you sceptically "I don't know why, but the fact he followed you here suggests some form of attachment. So me killing you would more than likely cause a multitude of issues. Besides that's not how we do things here." Thor turned to keep walking away as you bent down to pick up the knife that had been discarded on the ground.

"He said he loved me." the whisper escaping between your lips, unsure if Thor had heard you but then his body froze as if he had seen a real ghost. This time not bothering to turn around.

"When?" he mumbled, you shrugged again; realising he couldn't see you this time. Twirling the blade in your hand casually you shook your head attempting to clear your head.

"Why does it matter? He didn't mean it. He'd just tried to ditch me twenty minutes prior. If he meant it, why'd he try to hurt me? Why abandon me?" a sigh escaping your lips as you repocketed the knife. Running a hand up and down an arm in comfort; rain starting to penetrate through your clothes.

"He was being brainwashed." Thor's comment snapping you back to reality, and nowhere near what you were expecting him to say; already taking large steps to catch up to him. Closing the distance and rounding to stand in front of him. "That staff seems to have control over him whenever he's near it. He wasn't trying to hurt you or leave. It was." confusion fogged your brain as that same pang of guilt twisted deep into your stomach. You'd just tried to kill him. Hated him, when it wasn't him. "If my Brother said that to you, he probably meant it. Despite being the God of Mischief and Lies, he's never hidden how he's truly felt. In fact he's pretty awful at it. Now let us go inside. Go get dry and clean up. I'll deal with my Brother." he stepped around you heading towards the stairs, leaving you alone; staring out at the grey sky. You had a lot to make up for.

...

Head still reeling from everything that had just happened. Watching as the dried blood on your hands began to wash off. Everyone used to remind you that you'll always have blood on your hands. Like it simply stopped at the wrist. A well fitting glove that you always wore so well. But it never just stops there. The perfect white sink now turning a merky burgundy, water violently splashing up the sides. As if you could lead the life you did and there be any part of you that hadn't once been dripping. Nails dragging across your skin, and scrubbing till the surface turned a different kind of red; leaving that familiar dull ache once more.

A soft knock came at the door, before it cautiously opened. Your eyes meet with Thor's in the mirror, offering a weak smile.

"How is he?" your voice trembling more than you had expected. Thor smiled, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

"He'll be fine, just like you said. Currently sleeping in a cell, just in case not all the effects of the staff have worn off yet. Are you okay?" he gave a light squeeze to your shoulder, almost keeping you from falling, overwhelmed by relief. Thinking for a moment you sighed.

"Thor, I need you to tell me everything about your Brother."